Seed boundaries

I am coming to the beginning or the ending of something: I'm not sure which.

I have had the feeling for the last two weeks of being constrained, almost the sense of existing inside an emotional, intellectual, and personal shell of myself - as if I were feeling the non-physical boundaries of who I am.

To what end? I am not sure of that. For example, career: I have tried and tried to mentally "push" myself up into the next level of interest and process in my job field, but I can't seem to muster the enthusiasm to do it.

If I had to characterize how I feel, it's the sense of being a seed, straining against the hard outer walls of the shell - and more annoying is that, like the seed with sun and warmth and water, it is being caused by factors over which I have not control and which I have no knowledge of. I cannot remember having this experience before - the sense of being on a precipice of having to grow or die, of being conscious that I am at the limits of myself - and not understanding where it is coming from or why.