Stressed Out

So I've been stressed this week - mostly from work, but also from life in general.

What has been fascinating to observe - perhaps for the first time - is how I deal with the stress. Over the last month, I have been trying to establish some form of regularity and stucture to my life - a schedule of sorts, if you well. What I have found in the last 3 days is that when I get stressed, that structure goes out the window.

How? I eat - a lot. I choose not to do the activities that I have written down, but instead I am somewhat lazy and do the things which take the least effort. All in all, hardly a way to deal with it (and calorie rich as well).

Now the real question: why do I act this way, instead of taking positive action to address the causes of my stress?

If I had to think hard, my suspicision would be that I feel the stress in my life comes from items outside of my control; therefore, I revert to those few things that I feel I can control: what I do and when I do it. The odd thing is, this is partially right: the factors that are not in control can influence my life.

The wrong part is that I have no influence in return.

Dr. Stephen Covey (The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People) talks about 2 circles, one inside another. The inner circle would be labeled the circle of influence, the outer circle as the circle of concern. We cannot change the circle of concern directly, but we can change the circle of influence (these are things that we can affect). It is Covey's assertion that as we address items in our circle of influence, it will increase and our circle of concern will decrease and we will increase our ability to control factors in our life.

So back to my problem: I am stressed out at work.

Answer: What are the items I can control? In some cases, nothing can now be done about the past, but I can change the future of these items and programs. Instead of wallowing in my increased heart rate and Ritz crackers, why don't I try to do something to positively affect them? Write up a case study, see where the weaknesses are, prepare to address them?

What items are in your circle of influence? Do you know? Why aren't you addressing them?