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Arguably are there times that I have "regretted" choosing kindness? If I am honest, at some level I am sure there are.
But if I look into that a little more, I find something else at play. It is not regret at having done the act of kindness but the regret of how little it may be noticed or appreciated.
But that really becomes my problem, not the other person's. Yes, I may have been taken advantage of or misunderstood or ignored. But ultimately, kindness is more about myself and not their reaction.
It is a far better thing to be able to look back and - no matter what the outcome - realize that I did the right thing, the better thing, the kind thing. Part of it is a recognition that life goes on beyond this mortal plane and every deed - good or evil - comes along with us to the Great Day of Judgement.
But part of it as well is I just feel better afterwards. Because I did the kind and correct thing.
Never regret choosing kindness.
I came to the conclusion years ago that there really isn’t any right way to do the wrong thing.
ReplyDeleteI don’t see how a person can go wrong choosing kindness.
Best on your day!
B - I do not think there is any right way to do the wrong thing either. We may convince ourselves at the time that it is okay, but in my experience it almost inevitably comes back to haunt me.
DeleteI think there may be some level of bounds - for example, our kindness should not impinge on our physical or psychological safety - but those are extreme cases. 95% of the time we are in well within all bounds to offer kindness up.
Offering kindness towards others, regardless of what the other person's reaction is, is the thing to do TB. If more were to do this the world would be a better place, certainly less road rage eh?
ReplyDeleteWow Nylon12. Road rage is a great example - imagine how different the roads would be if people just let folks merge without issue?
DeleteIn October 1968, I was a hospital navy corpsman, With the US Marine
ReplyDeleteCorps. The had captured a north Viet Nam slightly wounded, looked about 14 years old. I was ordered to treat him. I knelt down and was looking him over, he looked very worried. I smiled at him, he smiled back, just so I saw him as a human being. A tiny act of kindness. I wonder if he survived the war? Woody
Woody - Thank you so much for sharing that story.
DeleteI sincerely believe - or choose to believe - that if he did survive the war, he remembers that moment too.
I don't struggle with giving kindness but have struggled on how it was received but like you said, that problem is on me and not the other person.
ReplyDeleteEd, I have to remind myself of this often. I think Stoicism helps here: I can control myself but I cannot control anyone else.
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