The remarkable thing about kindness is that - in word or deed - it costs almost nothing to give yet can yield results that far outweigh the effort required.
W. in CA Mother Teresa was possibly the kindest person I have ever read about. She was so self sacrificing all of her life and filled with the love of the Lord. She was born into a life of privilege that she gave up to serve the poorest, sickest and most needy. She even served her fellow nuns to make their lives of service better by taking on the hardest jobs and she lived in the hotest of rooms, next to the kitchen so no one else would have to. I became fascinated with leprosy since it is mentioned in the Bible as such a scourge and she loved people with the disease. Dr. Paul Brand and wife pioneered surgeries to help people with leprosy. Some of the most fascinating reading I have ever read. Leper colonies are closed now, leprosy can be cured with a common drug, sulfa, I believe. The damage is permanent but can be halted. I once read a woman's testimony of serving at an orphanage on a short-term mission in India. She was assigned a young woman so deformed that she needed to be hand fed as one of her first tasks. As she struggled to know how to do this and was very uncomfortable looking at the young woman, Mother Teresa walked by and stopped a minute to tell her that the woman talks, and to ask how the young woman liked the food. The volunteer was so overwhelmed with the task it never occurred to her the person inside the deformed body could talk. They then had a very pleasant conversation during the meal after this. I think sometimes we don't see past our own perceptions enough to see the humanity in others. I worked with the elderly for a few years. God gifted me with such love for them that I didn't see or smell what everyone else did. I would love to go back to that someday if God opens that door again. On a much lesser note, there is a movie called Driveways, that is Christian in nature without anything about God. There is a kindness in this movie that breaks through culture and age. Sweet friendships develope for mother and son doing a disgusting job of cleaning out her sister's hoarder house, and the elderly, widower neighbor, Brian Denehy in one of his last roles. The best part is the relationship between Denehy and the young boy. It is worth watching. I admit I had my reservations with it at the start of the movie. That "real people" setting was needed to set the tone for the outcome. It is a good example of how barriers break down with a little kindness. Greater kindnesses can be the result.
W - Mother Teresa is probably the 20th Century pre-eminent example of this. She also demonstrates one of the risks (at least in the world) of kindness: that people choose to see the behaviour and not the reason for the behavior (in this case, Christ). In a real way, very much like how some modern day folks see Christ: like His ideas, like His actions that comport with their world view, but not really interested in His actual message.
"I think sometimes we don't see past our own perceptions enough to see the humanity in others." Absolutely true. We seem to now see people only through our own perceptions and worldviews of what we think they represent based on what we perceive them to believe.
I had not heard of Driveways; thank you for the recommendation. I do like Brian Denehy.
Can remember my parents telling me when I was young "Being nice to others costs you nothing"...something I've tried to follow although there are times when.......(aaargh).
I couldn't please my dad. I didn't have the option of not working with him around the house and farm, so I got a lot of "helpful criticism". Just this morning I was remembering the neighbor, Mr. M. After the big tornado of 1970, dad bought a couple big loads of cinder blocks. I spent all winter cleaning them of old mortar and stacking them neatly (while listening to my friends playing). Next summer, we dug a hole and made a cellar. Mr. M was a bricklayer. He built the walls of the cleaned block, but needed a gopher and I was it. He told me, "you'd make a good cub." I asked what that was, and he said it was an apprentice bricklayer. He liked that I knew what tool was what, and he'd be happy to work with me anytime. I still remember the feeling I got from that simple statement.
STxAR - I had a similar experience with my father, although now (knowing what I know) I wonder if it was because he simply did not have the words or the example.
I have similar experiences growing up and even in adulthood of similar comments - short phrases in some cases - which still fill me with a warm glow. That is the power of a kind word.
I think it might be a farming thing for my childhood sounds a lot like STxAR, at least as far as pleasing our fathers went. I think my father just showed it in different ways however.
Ed, my father was the same (and possibly had a similar background: a child of the move caused by the Great Depression, his family worked as itinerant farmhands and harvesters for years). I think he lacked both the example and the words from his father as well.
Comments are welcome (and necessary, for good conversation). If you could take the time to be kind and not practice profanity, it would be appreciated. Thanks for posting!
W. in CA
ReplyDeleteMother Teresa was possibly the kindest person I have ever read about. She was so self sacrificing all of her life and filled with the love of the Lord. She was born into a life of privilege that she gave up to serve the poorest, sickest and most needy. She even served her fellow nuns to make their lives of service better by taking on the hardest jobs and she lived in the hotest of rooms, next to the kitchen so no one else would have to. I became fascinated with leprosy since it is mentioned in the Bible as such a scourge and she loved people with the disease.
Dr. Paul Brand and wife pioneered surgeries to help people with leprosy. Some of the most fascinating reading I have ever read. Leper colonies are closed now, leprosy can be cured with a common drug, sulfa, I believe. The damage is permanent but can be halted.
I once read a woman's testimony of serving at an orphanage on a short-term mission in India. She was assigned a young woman so deformed that she needed to be hand fed as one of her first tasks. As she struggled to know how to do this and was very uncomfortable looking at the young woman, Mother Teresa walked by and stopped a minute to tell her that the woman talks, and to ask how the young woman liked the food. The volunteer was so overwhelmed with the task it never occurred to her the person inside the deformed body could talk. They then had a very pleasant conversation during the meal after this.
I think sometimes we don't see past our own perceptions enough to see the humanity in others. I worked with the elderly for a few years. God gifted me with such love for them that I didn't see or smell what everyone else did. I would love to go back to that someday if God opens that door again.
On a much lesser note, there is a movie called Driveways, that is Christian in nature without anything about God. There is a kindness in this movie that breaks through culture and age. Sweet friendships develope for mother and son doing a disgusting job of cleaning out her sister's hoarder house, and the elderly, widower neighbor, Brian Denehy in one of his last roles. The best part is the relationship between Denehy and the young boy. It is worth watching. I admit I had my reservations with it at the start of the movie. That "real people" setting was needed to set the tone for the outcome. It is a good example of how barriers break down with a little kindness. Greater kindnesses can be the result.
W - Mother Teresa is probably the 20th Century pre-eminent example of this. She also demonstrates one of the risks (at least in the world) of kindness: that people choose to see the behaviour and not the reason for the behavior (in this case, Christ). In a real way, very much like how some modern day folks see Christ: like His ideas, like His actions that comport with their world view, but not really interested in His actual message.
Delete"I think sometimes we don't see past our own perceptions enough to see the humanity in others." Absolutely true. We seem to now see people only through our own perceptions and worldviews of what we think they represent based on what we perceive them to believe.
I had not heard of Driveways; thank you for the recommendation. I do like Brian Denehy.
Can remember my parents telling me when I was young "Being nice to others costs you nothing"...something I've tried to follow although there are times when.......(aaargh).
ReplyDeleteNylon12 - I can sympathize. Kindness costs nothing, but sometimes it is not easy...
DeleteI couldn't please my dad. I didn't have the option of not working with him around the house and farm, so I got a lot of "helpful criticism". Just this morning I was remembering the neighbor, Mr. M. After the big tornado of 1970, dad bought a couple big loads of cinder blocks. I spent all winter cleaning them of old mortar and stacking them neatly (while listening to my friends playing). Next summer, we dug a hole and made a cellar. Mr. M was a bricklayer. He built the walls of the cleaned block, but needed a gopher and I was it. He told me, "you'd make a good cub." I asked what that was, and he said it was an apprentice bricklayer. He liked that I knew what tool was what, and he'd be happy to work with me anytime. I still remember the feeling I got from that simple statement.
ReplyDeleteSTxAR - I had a similar experience with my father, although now (knowing what I know) I wonder if it was because he simply did not have the words or the example.
DeleteI have similar experiences growing up and even in adulthood of similar comments - short phrases in some cases - which still fill me with a warm glow. That is the power of a kind word.
I think it might be a farming thing for my childhood sounds a lot like STxAR, at least as far as pleasing our fathers went. I think my father just showed it in different ways however.
ReplyDeleteEd, my father was the same (and possibly had a similar background: a child of the move caused by the Great Depression, his family worked as itinerant farmhands and harvesters for years). I think he lacked both the example and the words from his father as well.
DeleteI try to run a ratio of 9 to 1 of honest, sincere complements to honest, sincere criticism when dealing with employees.
ReplyDeleteThat is not a bad ratio, John. We are encouraged to use "The Compliment Sandwich": Two positives, one before and one after any negative.
Delete