As longtime readers of this blog may recall, traditionally the month of December is at least partially consumed by the setting of goals for the coming year.
It derives from readings done years and years ago when I had much more of a "succeed in business" drive, where the importance of planning and laying out goals to achieve was emphasized. And usually I am knee deep in writing and re-writing those goals right now.
This year, I have done almost nothing in that respect.
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I have to admit that there are two factors that have resulted in this outcome. One of them - a rather biggish one - is given the past two years with multiple changes in locations and jobs, trying to set goals based on things that are effectively immediately outside of my control seems positively ludicrous. In retrospect, planning for something that requires a location, access to something, particular people, or even blocks of time is completely thrown out the window when a significant life change or three comes one's way (To be completely fair, I now spend my time waiting for the second shoe to drop).
The second factor is a realization that I have a lot of internal work to do.
If I have learned anything over last year from Iaijutsu (both training in Japan as well as at my new dojo), thinking a great deal about humility, writing about Essentialism, being back in the position of a manager (or "People Leader" as the kids now say), and simply being on my own a great deal more than I anticipated this year, it is that a lot of my former goals were very much "doing" related. Very few of them were "becoming" related. And while doing is important (and I will still undoubtedly have some of those on the list), it is the becoming that has taken front and center.
The simple fact is that I have a lot to work on internally. Old habits that have hung on far too long. Behaviours that were originally created for a particular situation that have outlived the situation. A great deal of focus on the immediate and not enough on future outcomes based on the immediate. An unwillingness to have hard conversations with myself (or others). In some cases, a rather unhealthy focus on myself.
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I will produce a list, of course. I always produce a list (I have a great love of them). But I wonder if it will be in the same manner as in years past, having items in five categories (God, Family, Work, Iaijutsu, Ichiryo Gusoku). Not that those are still not worthy categories - it is just that what I have to work on may not fit into them.
One of the things that has come out of my job recently is the idea that we are significantly changing how we work and the realization that next year will be very different going forward. I am coming to see that may be true of myself as well.
Good luck on your goals TB and on the effort to establish them. As for myself, waking up each morning is the only goal set these days at my age. Surviving cancer for three and a half years has altered....things........:)
ReplyDeleteNylon12, thank you. Hopefully I can be a little more reasonable on myself (as Ed suggests below).
DeleteI will note that my Trail Name - Survivor - still stands, as I am grateful every evening of a hike that I did not die that day.
I wouldn't be too hard on yourself TB. Although I only know you through blogging, I would be more than willing to bet money that you are a better person in just about every aspect than 95% of the people out there. I just don't see people like you very often in my day to day life.
ReplyDeleteThank you Ed.
DeleteThe problem, I suppose, is that we always see ourselves with a much more magnified sense of our shortcomings than others - and convince ourselves that others seem them in the same light.