One of the dangers I am continually reminded of in praying to God is similar to a character in C.S. Lewis' Narnia series where when describing Aslan he is described as a lion, but not a tame one. The same danger, it appears, happens when you sincerely pray to God for something (or at least, what to me seems sincerely).
God assures us He answers prayer. What I am finding out - for the 52nd time - is that the prayers fall into the two brackets. The first is something for ourselves that is superfluous, like a Jaguar automobile (for some reason I have always wanted one). Likely the answer there is "no". But pray for something like patience or the ability and practice to love your enemies or endurance, and you are likely to get an answer - not in the form of the thing itself but in the form of the ability to exercise patience or loving one's enemies or endurance.
Thus, praying for things has always become a bit of slightly fearful exercise followed by rolling for cover.
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One of the things I have been seeking is simply guidance and direction. There is a great deal going on (as you all know) and while there is not really a wrong answer, they may be a series of better answers. On Monday last I prayed for this very thing. The following day, three things happened:
1) The first was when I arose in the morning. The Director, working on his doctoral thesis, had a question about history (specifically Spartacus and The Third Servile War). Modern references he had; did I as a classicist have an idea for sources beyond Plutarch's Life of Crassus?
To be fair, I had to verify with a Wikipedia page, but it turns out I did: Plutarch's Life of Pompey, Frontinus' Strategemata, and Appian's The Civil Wars were all on my bookshelf to be consulted. A fourth - Florus' Epitome of Roman History - was not but I was able to find it online for him.
The feeling that I had when 1) I could readily find the references and 2) my friend considers me a "classicist" carried me through rest of the day. And it reminded that once, long ago during my failed attempt to become a pastor, the alternative career suggested to me was "Classics Professor".
2) In searching for an image for a presentation of a confused path picture (the sort of "How it was supposed to go" versus "How it went" sort of thing), the quote above was one of the first things that came up.
"Well", I thought, "That is extraordinarily weird" - and then went on with my day. Except I did not, because that thought - give up the life you planned to have the life that is waiting for you - would not disappear out of my head.
3) One of the folks I follow on Instapic is a gentleman named Father Mike, a Catholic Priest who does pretty good sometimes very funny videos. The video that came up that day was "What do I tell people when they pray for God's direction and will?"
Well, fortunately that was not on my mind at all, or else this would have been fortuitous...
The answer he gave is simply "Take the first step. And see what happens then."
(I am not sure if it will load - especially if you do not have an Instapic account - but it is here.)
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The bow that tied all of this off came on Friday, with a post by Friend-Of-This-Blog (and occasional famous person) John Wilder on Entitled "Time: It's The Only Thing You Have". In it, while discussing the nature of Time as we perceive it, he makes the rather interesting point that as novelty fades, time flows faster for us.
It makes sense, of course. When we are young, everything is new. As new things turn to the common place, we pay less and less attention to them; they essentially are on auto-pilot. I can still remember the first route I drove on the first day I drove myself to band camp; I can scarcely remember the thousands of times I commuted back and forth.
Tied to this idea of novelty, one of his commenters made the sage suggestion to re-invent some aspect of one's self every three to four years. Why? For the same reason John suggested: novelty causes us to pay attention and mark time in a way that the ordinary run of the mill living does not.
As I pondered this, I realized that many of the times I have "reinvented" myself were not any doing of my own - in fact if anything, I had to be forced into it. I never intended to work in the industry I am in. I never intended to move from Old Home. I never intended to move to New Home. And I never intended to move to New Home 2.0. Yet in each case not only was the move a "dot" in my life, it opened up opportunities and experiences I never would have had if I never been pushed out.
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Where does all of this end up? Three points, I think:
1) God clearly answered this prayer.
2) There is clearly an answer to be had here, if I will pursue this quest for direction consistently and just keep taking step after step until I hit a "no".
3) I need to be open to the fact that what I have "planned" may not be what I really need - or want.
Old Home, New Home, New Home 2.0........all steps along the path. A good many folk want to see far down the path but it seems Someone else has different plans regarding SEEING the path.
ReplyDeleteNylon12, it is true. And sometimes the path is completely different from what we have convinced ourselves it is.
DeleteFor some reason, my mind got hung up early in this blog post about praying for superfluous things. The song "Mercedes Benz" by Janis Joplin came into my head and wouldn't leave.
ReplyDeleteEd, this absolutely made me chuckle. And yes, that song is the perfect representation of what I was thinking of.
DeleteWell TB, this is a very thought provoking post. I retired earlier this year and feel a bit lost.. While I picked up a new hobby (ham radio) which interests me a lot, I haven't found a new vocation worthy of following. I probably need to pray for guidance more. In any event, thanks for taking the time to make these posts.
ReplyDeleteJohnD
John - Thanks very much for the comment and taking the time to make it!
DeleteI think my father was lost as well when he first retired. He ended up taking a series of part-time jobs like driving for a local garden center both to keep himself busy and to have something to do with his day. It was probably not until my mother was able to fully retire thst he truly felt like he had found his place, between what they did together and all of the work he did at their property.
I will admit that in the event, I am fortunate enough to be able to retire of having something Enjoyable and useful to fill the time with.
I have a friend in Poland who is a History teacher and loves history also. The two of you would probably have a lot in common.
ReplyDeleteDiscernment is a good thing to ask for, as I well know.
I enjoyed Father Mike. But he does talk fast!
You all be safe and God bless.
Linda -Father Mike sure is a talker, is he not?
DeleteI bet your friend and I would have a great time indeed.
TB, your (or John's) comments about reinventing oneself felt timely. When I read that, I realized that in the last 10 years a sort of "reinvention" was thrust on me at one point. I found myself with a job that showed me a completely different side of myself. I loved it. It was ministry, and I was paid to do it! That has passed, and recently I have been feeling at the place where I need something new in my life - to learn a new skill, something that, hopefully, has me interacting with like-minded folks (I have enough solitary hobbies). Not sure what may be on the horizon, but I'm praying that it reveals itself at just the right time - that time being when I'm ready to jump without hesitation, hopefully.
ReplyDeleteBecki- I suppose, at least for myself, I am more conscious of it than I may have been in years past just because of the upheaval in my life over the past year or so. Things which seemed relatively certain are all of a sudden uncertain, and the plans we had around those things are scattered to the winds.
DeleteI do not wonder that perhaps it is God trying to get our attention. He will do it in small and subtle ways, and then if we seem to continue the miss the point he may act more vigorously. I have certainly had to go back and reevaluate my life and activities simply because of the fact that , with the exception of Iaijutsu, they are very much changed. I have to believe there is a purpose for such a thing.
I wonder if we don't get so attached to our plans that they define how we see ourselves? I'm finding that the older I get, the easier it is to let go. I think this is partly because the time factor begins to change. I reflect back on all the plans we had for our 5 acres when we first moved here, yet 15 years later so much of it been realized in spite of our best efforts. The tendency is to identify all the factors: weather, resources, updated information, etc., but in the end, the analysis doesn't change where we are now. So, my choices are to either be disappointed, frustrated, or to let go.
ReplyDeleteFather Mike's advice is akin to something from Elisabeth Elliot that I continually call to mind. Simply, "just do the next thing." Taking that advice has saved me from an emotional tailspin many times.
Reinventing Self sounds like a lot of work. I think I would always wonder if the Self I choose is one that would actually work. I tend to think in terms of my journey toward spiritual maturity, where I grow closer and closer to the potential God has in mind for me.
Leigh - "I wonder if we don't get so attached to our plans that they define how we see ourselves? I'm finding that the older I get, the easier it is to let go." This is exactly where my mind has been for the last two weeks. And not only that our plans define how we see ourselves; I also do not wonder if it closes us off to new possibilities because we can only see ourselves through the plans we have already made.
DeleteI had not heard that Elisabeth Elliott quote before, but it seems completely in line with Father Mike.
One probably important clarification: "Reinventing the self" could be a small thing as well. One of the commenters I read suggested something as benign as a major event - a vacation, an activity - something that punctuates the time and that we can look back on as a dot or milestone on our journey.
What God's plans for me are, and how I do or do not fit into them, has also dominated my mind of late.