One of the great challenges of the relocation to New Home 2.0 is The Downsizing.
Yes, we have the luxury few have of not having to relocate everything as we are keeping the house. Yes, it is likely that New Home 2.0 at best represents a short rest stop on our way to other locales. And yes, one does need less things as one gets older.
But no matter how you slice it, we need to get rid of some things.
The Ravishing Mrs. TB is on this on the macro scale, viewing and reviewing things like furniture, décor, kitchen items, etc. as well as her own personal items - although she will likely spend far more time in New Home for up to a year than here in New Home 2.0. Leaving me to focus own on my own things.
I have referenced before that now having seen the place, I have to trim back my "what to bring" by what seems to me to be a considerable amount. The challenge is that, even in this need to bring things back, I still find that I want things.
Books, of course. Not surprising to anyone that follows me here. I have made efforts to corral this by putting together a list and if I want a book, it has to go on the list - no more off the cuff purchases. Which works, of course, except if you go into a used book store. Simple solution? Avoid used bookstores. And used book websites. And really, any websites that offer books at all.
It is not going as well as I might have hoped.
And although I have managed to cut my typical purchase of books to a trickle (at least for me, anyway) it does leave the fact that I see other things - and want them.
Coffee for Turkish Coffee? Background materials for old Role Playing Games that might help me write The Collapse? Some nifty clothing item? These are things that have rolled past my eyes in the last two weeks.
It is at moments like this that I need to take Epicurus' advice to heart.
It is true: at one time, I had none of this. They were all things that for the most part I wanted (or did not know I wanted until I got them). And now having them, I am somehow not satisfied with them. I "need" more.
But do I? In a life where I am transitioning from a house to an apartment, where everything I now bring in will have to move out at some point, do I really "need" it? Or is it fueling a desire that always wants more, or a vanity that that wants me to get it because "I am an adult and I can"?
Learning to say "no" to myself is always the hardest thing. So naturally, it is a lesson I have to constantly relearn.
But all of this has a larger component as well.
We live in a world - at least here in the West - where we are defined by what we want. We have a name for it: Consumer Culture. We have an entire industry, advertising, dedicated ultimately to getting people to desire and buy that which they do not truly need. We have built entire supply chains and businesses - food, goods of all kinds - on the premise that people will buy what they could do themselves if only they are shown the convenience of and pleasure in doing so.
There is nothing wrong with that, of course - people should be free to spend their money as they choose. But when one effectively bets the house - in this case, the economy - on people always having to desire and purchase that which they do not have nor need but desire, it eventually goes badly. Because when comes down to it, when the money is down, people focus (again) on what they really need and what they can really do for themselves.
So in a way, we have managed to not only completely ignore Epicurus' advice, we have managed to base our economic future on it. Let us hope that we can stair step our way down instead of falling off the ladder.
A thoughtful post Tb, only trouble is someone is shaking that ladder hard.
ReplyDeleteOh, agreed Nylon12. I say "hope"; I sincerely doubt it will nothing but something increasing in intensity.
DeleteAs far as books my thoughts go here:
ReplyDeleteIf you have a garden and a library, you have everything you need.
Marcus Tullius Cicero
Having a hands-on AKA Thomas Jefferson style gardening lifestyle and a good working library, one has resources far beyond that of Amazon Prime.
100% Agreement Michael. I have the second hands down, the first I need to effectively rebuild again.
DeleteAt this stage in life I am often shocked by how effectively I can be manipulated into believing I want or need (insert eyeroll) something that minutes before I, perhaps, didn't even know existed. I like to think my will power is stronger as I get older, but still having to face the "want monster" down from time to time is sobering. Giving in is more so - when I realize what has happened.
ReplyDeleteBecki, don't feel bad, we KNOW our children can push those buttons.
DeleteSuccessful advertisers have learned how to push most of our buttons to spend to "Be Happy".
To recognize manipulation by our kids, armors us a bit from them.
Oh, I wasn't talking about kids manipulating us, but you are right.
DeleteA couple of our grown sons have actually challenged me (not outright, but by their example) to consider a simpler lifestyle. I think they are relieved as they hear about my downsizing of stuff. They will have less to deal with someday. :)
Becki - Having just lived through this, your children will thank you for downsizing. I very much underestimated this side of the process.
DeleteI'm going through another sort and downsize myself, so I am in full sympathy with the dilemma. Unfortunately, wanting things is built into human nature, so it's an ongoing challenge. Self-control is an important life skill!
ReplyDeleteFor myself, I've discovered that being poor is a blessing in this arena; there simply isn't the money to indulge whims. Not that it wasn't a struggle to understand life this way. Not looking has helped a lot, as you point out. If I don't know it exists, I can't want it!
Leigh, you touch on an important point: self control. It extends just beyond desires and comes into things like living within our means (something I have struggled with often).
DeleteBeing poor helps -if one realizes that and accepts the challenge. Unfortunately for our modern society, we have made the ability to buy what we think we need now (via credit) a thing that is a right, not a privilege. And so, many end up possession rich but money poor.
As I age, I grow to be more of an anti-consumer all the time. In my youth, half priced book stores and electronic stores were both a weakness but these days, I am not phased by them at all. For one, I just stay home and avoid the shopping sprees that my wife and kids go on. Two, I freely recognize that if the world stopped tomorrow and I could never step outside again, I have enough books in this house to see me through the remainder of my years without getting bored.
ReplyDeleteAbout 90% of what I consume these days are just the run of the mill stuff needed to maintain and improve a household/acreage that we live on.
Ed, I find myself in the same boat as you: the older I get, the less and less consumer I find myself. In fact, I am embracing the challenge of "making do" with what I have or finding ways to do the same thing spending as little as possible.
DeleteLike you, most of my purchases (with the exception of books, of course) are maintaining or improving what we own.
At my age, 87, I find the problem is the old stuff- grouped as "collectibles". Never again will these beautiful and of questionable value things be made. There will be a time when we hunger for beauty. I have a grandson who is ideally suited for retail so I box things for him to sell in the future. Who knows if that future will ever arrive? So, I keep boxing "stuff".
ReplyDeleteJulia, this thought has occurred to me as I go through my parents' house or even walk through antique stores. Many of things these things will never be made again. Many of these things might not ever be able to be made again, given our increasing loss of skills.
DeleteSometimes, the very best thing I think we can do is exactly what you are doing: "boxing" things for later in hopes that something of value or beauty survives.