As I was thinking through my work search at Produce (A)Isle - and I have a lot of time to think - one thing that struck me was the fact that it is by far one of the most courteous environments I have worked in.
This struck me as I was thinking about my job search and my past experiences in other companies - which, while not awful (for the most part), really do not rise to the same level.
In all my time there to date (7 months), I have only ever had one "unpleasant" customer - and legitimately he had found an issue (a discrepancy between the sign pricing and the label pricing on the shelf below it, although he was not particularly nice about it). Other than that, everyone - customers and fellow employees - has being, well, really polite.
Contrary to what might be out there on the current relations between practically anyone out there, I have contact with a large swath of people from every conceivable backgrounds and many nationalities. To a person, the request always starts with "Excuse me, Sir".
Now, maybe the grey hair and the slow shuffling around the shelves suggest I am not a quite in the now-current generation, but I have to admit I am a bit shocked by the level of courtesy shown to me by customers.
I contrast this with my industry work environments.
Not that they are impolite or discourteous on the face of them: people on the whole generally ask permission and generally do not barge in on one. But the conversations start less with the equivalent of "May I have a moment of your time?" and more "Hey, I have this problem/discussion point/story I need to resolve/run past you/ tell you to amuse you and make myself feel good". And sometimes, not even the first name basis is used. It becomes "Do you have a minute?" and barely waiting for an acknowledgement, the conversation is on.
They lack that moment of simple courtesy and respect.
Are they different environments? Sure. But it cannot be argued I am not dealing with a wide variety of people at Produce (A)Isle, including people as well educated and trained as those I deal with in the Biopharmaceutical/Medical Device Industry. It seems that in one environment, the ability to interrupt and/or deal a bit nonchalantly with people is assumed; in the other it is not.
To be completely honest, some folks at Produce (A)Isle seem genuinely apologetic to interrupt me to find out where the celery is or do we have coconuts. It is no problem, I tell them: that really is part of my job.
It does make me wonder though: how far would the same sort of simple courtesy and respect go in all places, not just on sandy beach and under the waving palm trees of the (A)Isle?
I usually feel bad if I need to interrupt someone at their work, even if it is their job to tell me where they moved the "item" to this week.
ReplyDeleteGood to know that courtesy is not completely dead.
You all be safe and God bless.
Linda, I can certainly understand that feeling. I do as well. Still, it is part of my job and I am happy to help (if for no other reason than I know what it is like to be lost in a store).
DeleteHmmm.....curtesy, being polite, perhaps "do to others as you would have them do to you".........what was that called again? ........ :)
ReplyDeleteOdd, is it not Nylon12? In a society where everything is encouraged, common courtesy has been lost.
DeleteThe difference with colleague conversations is both of you are "on the clock." Plus there is already a degree of familiarity. I think it might actually be a good sign for our society that we are courteous to strangers, at least in some places.
ReplyDeleteWhew. Optimism. Where did that come from?
It could be, Mike. That is a valid observation. At the same time, there is a different feeling when someone just "stops by" and puts something forward without the grease of some sense of acknowledgement of social niceties. And I do not know there is a sense of "on the clock", except perhaps in the background.
DeleteAgain, I was not aware of this until recently. That said, I do think I need to up my game when I get back to work.
I've found, "Hello. I beg your pardon. Do you have enough patience to deal with yet another stupid question?" works well depending on the situation.
ReplyDeleteJust like common sense, common courtesy is increasingly uncommon.
Indeed, John. I often plead age and gray hair.
DeleteComing from a very courteous society this week (Japan), the gap is more apparent.
I guess for me the key difference is that at work, both of you are on the clock and time is money. Politeness is just taking up time and thus wasting money. At a grocery store, only the produce stocker is on the clock and that is why we are more polite.
ReplyDeleteMy other theory would be that most produce aisles tend to be the first places one walks through when entering a grocery store. You mood is still fresh and the aisles are generally a lot wider. By the time you get to the frozen section, your mood has soured from people blocking your path to chat or wandering slowly and thus slowing you down in the much more narrow aisles.
Ed, as with Mike above, that makes some sense. I also wonder if that is not also an excuse for not practicing courtesy though due to "circumstances". There are other places where we expect things no matter what the circumstances; why not here as well?
DeleteThe geography issue may be valid as I had never thought of it that way, but we are the first waypoint for 80% of shoppers.
Chuckle, so social graces isn't just a small town New Hampshire thing?
ReplyDeleteI think it was Heinlen that said "please and thank you were the social lubricant in a society ".
When ever I need help in grocery stores I do my "lost man " act and often quite quickly some kind soul shows up to help.
Kindness is often rewarded.
Michael
They are not, Michael, at least not in this part of the country (and at The Ranch as well, oddly enough).
DeleteI also believe Heinlein said "An armed society is a polite society".
The "lost man" or "old geezer" act is very effective.
Rudeness seems to be more common than ever before. I honestly don't get it. It costs nothing to be kind. Your experience in the produce (a)isle is truly refreshing!
ReplyDeleteLeigh, I do wonder if some of the commonality of rudeness is simply due to the fact we have spent 20 plus years teaching people that they are the most important thing in the world - thus their needs and schedules are the most important and supercedes whatever someone else is doing.
DeleteI am genuinely surprised at how polite people are in this situation.
TB. I'm not keeping up well here, but your current post made me come back here and see what I might have missed. :) I hope you don't mind me randomly popping into comment sections on old posts.
ReplyDeleteReading this, I immediately thought of texting culture. It is not uncommon to "burst into" (as you say) conversation in a text with a Hey! Or simply start "speaking" without any kind of greeting. I am guilty of it myself sometimes, but I am almost always embarrassed later when I realize I've done it. I wonder how much what you're talking about is a result of our extremely casual online communication.
I will say, in a store, (or I think anywhere, really) when I am interrupting someone's work, or even if an employee just looks like they're on the way to somewhere, I break in with an "excuse me" before I ask a question. It would seem odd to me to not do that when these encounters happen in person. Now, if the person makes eye contact with me, and appears to not be deeply engrossed in what they are doing, I may forego the "excuse me", and probably say ,"Hi" before asking my question.
Becki, that is a really good point.
DeleteTexting and indeed most social media related apps allow us to tap back into a conversation at will - in a sense, it becomes the constant conversation with random breaks, sometimes of days or weeks. Certainly nothing wrong with that - that is how the platform works - but it can lead to the assumption that people are "standing by" for our next communique when in fact they are asleep or reading or eating.
It would be odd to me to not say "excuse me" or "Hi" or some other initial contact word to start the conversation as you have described. Why that is not true for our other conversations is interesting, the more I have pondered it and read the comments - yes, in other work conversations we are all "on the clock", but we are also all doing things as well. Usually breaking in means that it is something specific to us - much like asking for directions.