One of the...not precisely "dangers", but perhaps "risks"...of Social Media with people that you knew once upon a time but only see online or not at all, is that the mind tends to run down the paths of "back then".
For example, a random viewing of a former acquaintance (because somehow their name had popped into my mind) led me to path of where I had met them, which ended up being 12 years ago. When I say that, 12 years really does not sound like that long of a time to me - which is a surprising personal response, because it is about a 22% slice of my life at this point. One in five are not terrible odds - unless you are talking about time, of course.
12 years ago, we were here in New Home less than a year. Na Clann were all much younger of course, and things like Middle School or High School were still far in the future. We lived in the rental house we found when we first came here, and had Syrah The Brave, Bella the Bunny, and Midnight the Rescue Bunny. The Ravishing Mrs. TB was still doing some sort of direct marketing on the side, but was largely involved in driving children hither and yon and volunteering for their various things.
12 years ago, I did not really enjoy what I was doing for a living (ah, how little has changed).
12 years ago, I had less than a year studying Iaijutsu. I had been to one seminar with the head of our school had realized that I was probably not a marital artist (in this case, a great deal changed: not so much that I am a martial artist, but at least I kept with it in a way that I did not imagine possible).
12 years ago, life felt a lot simpler to me. I suspect that in point of fact it was not simpler, but only seemed so because some things had not manifested themselves as they did today and pressures of the outside world were kept at bay, at least in our household. Over time of course, that becomes harder to do - while I would like life to remain Littlest Pet Shops and Narnia, it never works out that way.
12 years ago, I have never had the thought of Alzheimer's in my family and I had real, long conversations with TB The Elder And Mom; in fact, I think they had come to visit us that Easter.
12 years ago I talked and interacted with a group of people of which most of the relationships have passed into the wind. For a few, we still touch base from time to time or pop in on Social Media platforms. Others have simply passed into the wind of memory - not that they have necessarily died (a few have, of course) as much as they have traveled beyond the Event Horizon of my own life just as, I suspect, I have traveled beyond the Event Horizon of their lives as well.
12 years ago, different decisions lay in front of me that I did not realize at the time I would have to make than the ones that lay in front of me today. In some cases I chose well, in other cases I chose poorly. In either case, the decision was made and the thing passed into history: doors opened, doors closed, in some cases doors were boarded up and then burned to the ground.
Did I do wrong in those 12 years? Probably. It is hard to keep track of every decision made, every choice exercised, every opportunity exercised - or missed. And were all of us from that 12 years ago to come together now, I suspect we would scarcely recognize each other - physically yes, but not in our hearts and minds. Having been apart from each other so long, we simply are different people that in some cases can no longer do no more than pass the time speaking of weather and food.
12 years of itself can cover a lot of ground: from birth to almost individuality, from teenager to some form adult (fully functioning or not), from free spirited adult to responsible parental or career adult. And then we reach here, from responsible parental or career adult to...? I really have no idea what comes next.
How odd: a slice of time that seems not so long ago - and yet, seems to be lifetime.
"Did I do wrong in those 12 years?"
ReplyDeleteLet me ask a different question. Would you be asking yourself the same question if everything had remained exactly the same, excepting the career you don't enjoy part? My guess is that your answer would be exactly the same, "Probably."
Life changes and we do so along with it. We can't change this no more than we can change our ages. If everything stayed the same, life experiences couldn't progress and we would be lesser individuals as a result.
Thanks Ed. In my case, the question about wrong was more directed at potential specific wrong choices I made on a personal level, not necessarily in the greater context. But you ask a good question.
DeleteMy guess - and it is only a guess - is that in any situation that is not an out of the ordinary one - war, for example, or significant social upheaval, or something like The Plague - 80% of the choices we make really have no long term impact on how our lives would go. The classic, I suppose, is "Do I choose Ranch or Caesar dressing on my salad?" But there are 20% that do have an impact, and sometimes those 20% do not appear to us - or rather, do not appear to me in the way I think. I often picture the sorts of decision process where the skies are alight and Gotterdammerung approaches, but just as often it was something much less showy.
Life does indeed change - this is one of our monthly Dinner And A Discussion subjects that Uisdean Ruadh and I often return to. What we struggle with sometimes, I think, is what is good to change and what we should retain.
Odd how something can trigger that retrospective look eh? One plus for Social Media in your case. The days fly by and add up fast to years.
ReplyDeleteIt truly is, Nylon12. Fortunately for almost everyone I have known, we effectively "parted" on good terms so I can look back and smile. And in that sense, Social Media can be a benefit.
DeleteThe acceleration of time is astonishing.
Personal theory, is that it's not acceleration, it is the perception of doubling. A baby that has lived two days has lived half a life in a single day. A ten year old has lived half a life in five years. Summers are ENDLESS! A fifty year old? Half a life is 25 years. Wilder's Law Number 321.
DeleteJohn - That makes sense. I think that the time gets spent differently too. When we all have "real jobs", 8 to 12 hours a day eats of a lot of living.
DeleteHad a conversation with a friend that I hadn't talked to since '18. High school buddy. Picked right up where we left off.
ReplyDeleteJohn, I have had that experience as well. And it is wonderful when it happens (In point of fact, many of our conversations between myself, the Director, and Uisdean Ruadh are exactly like that.
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