There is nothing more crushing than returning from a vacation to work.
It is not just that a vacation represents time away from work, It is not that for some glorious period of time one is free from the constant background visual symbol of new e-mails arriving bearing undoubtedly more work to accomplish and the inevitable meeting requests that wander in through the days, the texting equivalent of "Hey? Have a minute?". It is not that one is freed - for a brief time perhaps - from the droning beat that is a "Things To Do" list or timelines.
It is that, for one brief instant, one is free from the reality of work.
Coming back, there is usual a brief period - sometimes it lasts of all of a day or two, but usually much less - where one feels like one is truly rested and on top of the world, that the vacation "did the trick" that it was supposed to do of rejuvenating and recharging. One is ready to take on the world - or at least the challenges of it.
And then, the e-mails start rolling in. And the meeting requests. And the things that you thought had been resolved before you left but - lucky you! - turns out that they were not, or at least not as neatly as one thought. Within 4 hours, the tone of your voice has lowered to the dull sound of the defeated and is matched by the slow sound of typing as your fingers drag across the keyboard as if the keys themselves had the power to drain the life from you, one keystroke at a time.
Happy Feeling gone indeed.
I am not sure what creates this dichotomy. Is it the fact that I have greater hopes for my time away than what it can deliver? Is it that I somehow harbor illusions about my job that returning to it strips away? Is it that I try to choose to believe that somehow this "job" (5+ years) as well as "this" career field (20+ years) is "temporary-until-I-find-my-true-calling" when it is the thing that I have been and will be committed to for years yet?
I wish I knew better. Because to be completely honest, having the feeling of being away stripped away within hours of returning almost feels the same as not having gone anywhere at all.
A job, whether viewed as a desirable career or simply a means to pay the bills, is a lifestyle. The question is, how well do we like that particular lifestyle?
ReplyDeleteThat is a perspective I had not considered Leigh. A job is a lifestyle, and a lifestyle can determine a job.
DeleteSigh. Back to the thinking board...
I loved radio. Always did. As a broadcast engineer, business band repeaters, ham radio, unicom, public service and safety, then supporting the largest private radio network owner in the US at the time, I loved it. It is a 24/7 job. No way around it. And then, cell phones took off. The radio network that I slaved over, was on the scrap list. Looking back, I probably could have moved on. I wound up in the customer computer support / IT arena, and I did well there, too.
ReplyDeleteBut your experience was mine as well. I really only refit after two weeks of vacation. The first week was getting free of the mindset, and the second was rest.
Coming back was a two day ramp up, then the same thing over and over..... "My coworker did WHAT??!? You've been waiting for two weeks for me to fix it? NO, no, I understand perfectly... I'll be there in a bit."
STxAR, that is exactly it: one cannot simply "turn off" work after having done it for so many weeks of the year. The time away from actively having to answer e-mails or manage things is nice, but it does not make up for actually time to rest and recharge.
DeleteAnd yes, coming back only to find out that everyone was waiting for you to get back to take action can be one of the most depressing things to confront you upon your return...
Is there something to be learned from this, O Mighty Warrior Poet?
ReplyDeleteMy immediate (and somewhat sarcastic response) is either never take vacations or quit altogether. Neither of which is a viable option.
DeleteI got totally fed up about forty years ago and went to work for myself. Turned out OK- the only PIA boss is me. And problem clients can be gently fired.
ReplyDeleteDoes your job add to the world? Does it help someone or make something useful or pretty? Most of my working life has been making nice things for people with way more money than I can ever dream of, but it is still satisfying to make nice stuff.
And I am ever grateful for the rich, because I would rather they be rich, and pay me to build cool stuff, than all of us be "equal" and having to run a hoe down a row crop 12 hours a day to eke out a living.
So after about two or three weeks vacation, I am ready to get back to work- it gets a bit boring, just doing nothing.
Raven - I have had a go at doing my own thing almost twenty years ago now, but was not successful. To be fair, we were not making things (it was real estate) and while I enjoyed the freedom of it, I was much less successful at the business side.
DeleteI try to keep the opposite in mind when I am buying things from a single person or small manufacturing company: I am contributing money to people instead of a rather nameless corporation and the benefit is (hopefully) more direct.
In my world, the big go to is consulting (if you are not employed directly), but like any other firm, the 10% of the consultants that are good are always booked and the 90% are scrambling for the rest of the money.
Arguably my job indirectly helps people (biopharmaceutical company) so at least I have that going for me. What is a little more difficult to quantify directly is the good I do.
Agreed with the boredom of just doing nothing - just one week off and I was pretty much ready to get back to a routine as I had done the outstanding things I had planned (also in Winter, the ability to do things outside is bound by whatever the weather pattern is that year).
We have gotten into the habit of coming back from a vacation a day or two earlier than necessary to sort of ease back into work life. It seems much easier than starting Monday cold turkey with high hopes and expectations.
ReplyDeleteThat is not a bad idea at all Ed. When I can, I try to do that (this vacation we stayed home, so in theory that should have been a very easy reach). With some of the more exotic ones, the temptation is always to use as much time as possible away.
DeleteI understand your point, TB. Best I can tell, I am a few years ahead of you. I spent the early part of my career frustrated. Things eventually got better but there was still that nagging feeling that there must be more to life. Long, long story, but in short, seven years ago I got into a position that I've enjoyed more than any other. It's nothing more than a God thing, and I'm grateful. It's still work, and I don't know that I'd do it if I didn't have to, but I really enjoy it and I don't have that sense of dread after a weekend or coming off vacation that I once did. As I have told all three of my adult children, it's work and that's why they pay you to do it! But I'm in a good place with the current job and hope to ride it into retirement 3-4 years from now. Best wishes as you continue your journey.
ReplyDeleteThanks Bob. In reality I have at least 10 years or more before retirement becomes a real option. I do wonder if it is not so much the job at this point as it is the industry I am in, which is always very future oriented and on tight timelines. At best, I am trying to gain the skills to have them in the even there are industries that need my skill set but are not quite as high stress.
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