One of the things I have become more conscious of over the last two months is planning out the activities to see me through the rest of my life.
I have two useful precedents guiding me. The first is being able to visit The Ranch more often now and spend time with my parents, who are now in their eighties. Frankly, things change in the eighties in terms of physical ability and energy (and my parents are in reasonably good health, to be clear).
The other factor is my friend (and often commentator) Glen, who has gone through a number of job changes layoffs even since I have known him (3 years or so) which has effectively resulted in his retirement in his mid-fifties (something which I believe he was not anticipating).
I love to do new things. I have always loved to do new things. But there are two immovable facts: I am as healthy today as I will ever be until the end of my life (which hopefully is years and years away from now) and there is a finite amount of time and to a lesser extent physical wherewithal to I will have to these things in - given my family history, likely 30-35 years at most (although I had a material great-grandmother that made it to a very active 99, so there is always hope). And the sub-text, of course, that in this new age of economic uncertainty, one never knows if one will keep one's job or a if a job loss will become an early retirement.
To that end, I have been given more consideration both to what I am doing and what I want to do.
To what I am doing, I looking at cost and sustainability. Cheese making, for example, now costs me very little except for milk and the occasional recharge of my cultures at my current level (sure, there are always different cheeses to make and I could benefit from something to age them in like a wine refrigerator, but I need to get consistent first). Gardening is literally the cost of seeds for new items and water. Languages can vary - I have enough to study a number of languages for a very long time without having to buy new materials, but there is always "one more language" that somehow manages to appeal to me. Books, of course, never seem to go away even (this, I mitigate by purchasing used).
All of these above items I can literally do to the end of my life costing me very little except time and money. So to any new thing, my first new questions have become "How much will it cost to start?" and "How much will it cost to maintain?"
The second is the ability to do it. My example is the difference between Highland Games and Iaijutsu: Highland Games is great for any number of reasons but at some point, there are physical issues which cause most to drop out in their late fifties or early sixties (although I have known an 82 year old thrower); Iaijutsu can easily be practiced in some form or fashion well late into the eighties or even beyond. Preserving the abilities matters too: thus to the extent I am able I intend to continue to weight train until I can no longer do so, find the aerobic exercise that works for me for life (walking or biking, most likely; running is not my favorite nor kind to the knees), and continuing to challenge my mind with the aforementioned new activities.
Some things come off the list by default: for example, the idea of starting cattle at my age seems not recommendable for either cost or ability (sheep or poultry maybe) or the likelihood that I will venture back into brewing (frankly, I am just not drinking that much alcohol anymore). But that still leaves plenty to be done.
My goal, if I could state it as such, would be to continue to do these things that I am selecting now for the remainder of my life that I have, rather than suddenly deciding that due to cost or ability, I suddenly have to stop.
In a way, it will be like the day I decide I cannot or will not throw anymore: I enjoyed my time and the work was not wasted, but having to endure cutting off cold turkey something I was heavily involved in will be far more difficult than phasing something out and then just acknowledging its time has passed.
In the face of the wind, we can be bamboo and bend or oaks and break.
Perhaps the oddest thing I find about going into semi-retirement, TB... is that nothing fires my soul anymore. It’s hard to explain... but...like, I used to live and die for hunting and fishing and camping. Nowadays? Yeah, I could be out after deer and elk and moose... but it’s work now, not fun. When I go camping I am just peachy in my self contained camper with the furnace on, a coffee going, and sacked out on a bed with a mattress. I’ve got a fortune in guns and ammo and I am thinking of selling them because I don’t shoot like I used to.
ReplyDeleteThe knife making is great, I go downstairs, put on music and the next thing I know, the day’s gone, the dawgs must be walked, and it’s time for evening chores. I’m not the same person I was three years ago, and this new version of me doesn’t like the same things the younger version did.
I am not unhappy... but I know now what it’s like to be meaningless. I’ve never had to adapt to something like this before...
Glen - That is a hard thing, especially the part about being caught unawares by it (thus, my mediation on it).
DeleteI do understand what you mean, in smaller doses. At one time I lived to go throw. Now, I have not thrown since November of last year and am looking to not throw until November of this year. And I am perfectly fine with that.
It is not that you are meaningless, friend. In God's eyes you certainly have great value. It is that a certain group or segment of society has defined your current skill set as meaningless.
I say this not as a lecture, but to myself as well. I put a great deal of my value into my work. My work has redefined me once already this year and I suspect, as we continue to grow, I will be redefined again. So I am working on not finding my value there.
On the guns: Maybe we wait a few years and see how things "work out" before we decide?
As we age, we need to continue challenging our minds and bodies with exercise and hobbies which keep us looking for more.
ReplyDeleteKnowledge of local plants for medicinal and food purposes I think is wise. If it comes to self medication or foraging food, why not let Nature feed us for the simple cost of labor. Win-win.
Indeed, Anonymous. And those two you listed are very good ideas - keeps one fit, active, out in Nature - and fed.
DeleteThanks for stopping by!
My philosophy on longevity of life has changed in the last couple years. Up until then, my great grandparents all lived into their late 80's or 90's and I was able to make memories with many of them. My remaining grandparents are in their early 90's. I lost one at 89 about a year and a half ago and the other died in his early 70's of Parkinsons. I always thought that with this history, my chances of living that long were probably pretty good. Then nearly two years ago, I lost my mom to brain cancer at age 63 and that pretty much rocked my core especially since I am so close in age to her due to an earlier than planned pregnancy. She did everything right, was as healthy as an anyone and couldn't do a darn thing to prevent her early death. Although by most standards, she lived a charmed life and had been able to travel the world doing what she loved for much of her life, she still felt robbed in that last year knowing that she never got to officially "retire" and do those things full time.
ReplyDeleteI want to be able to say that I had a charmed life when my time on earth ends.
Life has no promises of living to a ripe old age, even when you take care of yourself. Mom lived until age 80, but she had developed pulmonary fibrosis about 5 years prior to her death. This disease is the lungs failing to no longer flex to allow air to come in. So you slowly suffocate until the effort gives you a heart issue.
DeleteNever smoked or drank in her life. No drugs either and she was never really heavy either. She just developed a disease which slowly shrank her world from long trips to shorter to locations with handy parking spaces, to her home, then to her bed. A real shame, she did not deserve such an ending. But her faith (Catholic) kept her cheerful and though at end she was a bit demanding (understandable), not that bad.
I asked her near the end 'What do you miss the most ?" She thought about half a minute, then said "My cooking. It isn't that others don't cook well, its just they don't do what I would do and the food tastes different. I miss that."
I would have never guessed that in a 100 years.
Ed,you reflect my own thought processes. While on the whole my family ages well, there is always the risk that the unexpected happens. What I do not want to have happen is working up to my "retirement" and then having the unexpected happen and all those plans laid waste.
DeleteAnonymous - I have worked at a company involved in clinical work on an IPF drug. It is an insidious disease. I cannot imagine having to work through that. My condolences.
DeleteThe cooking is a little surprising - but perhaps if I had cooked all my life more, I would notice the difference as well.
After I turned 80, the passion for doing things is gone. Used to be I would get fired up at the thought of learning a new craft or resuming an old one. Nothing really interests me much now. I know how Glen feels.
ReplyDeleteTewshooz, a follow up question if you do not mind: Is it energy? Interest? Or just a sense that it does not really matter?
DeleteLack of interest, but don't really know why. Don't have the energy I used to have, but it is more than that. I just don't care. Pathetic
DeleteI get the not caring Tewshooz. Maybe I am just jaded with the world, but I am rapidly reaching the phase of failing to muster a lot of enthusiasm for the future as it often seems bleak.
DeleteThis discussion is interesting to me because I went about it a little differently. I chose a lifestyle rather than specific interests. Of course, I enjoy the activities associated with that lifestyle, but I do have other interests as well. They just seem to be on hold until .... ?
ReplyDeleteWe do, however, approach things with the same questions as you, i.e. cost, sustainability, and ability in terms of health and energy. I realize things may change, but I can't see trying to stick with a "safe" life "just in case." What I really don't want to lose is my sense of purpose. That's the thing that gives me the greatest satisfaction.
Leigh, that is an interesting and alternative way to go about it. I suppose part of how I am looking at it now is within the confines of my current life: at the moment I am anticipating having to do what I do (or some version of it) for a while so I am trying to find things that I can do while I am doing the work.
DeleteA sense of purpose is what matters. This is something I am groping my way towards at this point; just "doing what I have always done" is not getting it done for me. It never really did, I suppose; it is just becoming more and more apparent.