I realized this week that I need to find some friends. More specifically, some friends outside of my job. Having to lay my friend off made me realize this.
It is an easy enough temptation, right? We end up spending so much time at work, at least most of us, that our coworker circle becomes our friendship circle. Our coworkers become more real to us than the rest of the world, because the rest of the world becomes consumed with family or catch up or occasionally the hobbies we like to do.
Until, of course, the person gets laid off or we leave the job. Like that, our friendship circle gets cut off. And even if we see each other after that, it is amazing how much the conversation revolves around work. Because in a lot of ways, that is all we really shared.
I think, as well, that as you move "up" the food chain, you become less friend-like - or at least most of those sorts of people I know do. They are collegial to be sure, and can be even "chummy", if that word still works. But in terms of friends? There is a hard wall that is present though unspoken, something that I have learned that one never crosses.
So, I need to work on finding a friend - or friends - that simply have nothing to do with my current position. Yes, it will be a bit of a struggle as I am a bit of an odd bird. But I need to work on developing some kind of relationship that has nothing - absolutely nothing - that involves anything I do for a living.
Because that will go away. And I will some kind of human relationship that transcends it.
I think that some of us are just different to the rest, which makes making friends difficult for us.
ReplyDeleteVera, it is very true indeed. If you remove the aspect of a common environment, like work, the level of shared interest can very widely based on activities and personal senses of space. And being different - even just being a bit standoffish (for me, it is due to be an introvert) does make them difficult. For me, there is often a sense of distance between myself and others that all the talking in the world will not cross.
ReplyDeleteI've never been good at making friends.
ReplyDeleteYour used book store may be a good place. But you need someone with something in common that you would want to spend time with. Like bingo or cribbage - only a poor example.
You have Iai, I think you call it? Middle son has Amptgard or however he spells it.
Good luck. :)
Right Linda, it is called Iai. They are a good group of folks, but it is not like we ever do anything outside of Iai. Which is true of a lot of my activities: they are focused on the activity, but not much outside of it. I am hoping to find that thing that transcends a single activity.
ReplyDeleteYou have your rabbit rescue, right? Do they do fundraisers? Local gardening clubs? Stores like Tractor Supply often have a bulletin board for people selling things or skills or some such. You may find something on one of those.
ReplyDeleteSorry about all the things you probably already thought of, haha. Just the way I am. :)
No worries Linda! Suggestions are always welcome.
ReplyDelete