Need to do, Have to do, Want to do. These are the three types of things in life.
Need to do are those things that, simply put, must happen. They are things that are required for continuing to live and breathe and maintain us and ours, be they as simple as eating and breathing or as complex as a series of tasks that must be accomplished in order to keep the house standing up.
Have to do are those things that we feel we must do, even if they are not something we need to to or really want to do. They are as varied as going to work at a job we do not particularly care for because we have to pay bills to going to the event that we do not really want to but someone feel it is important to do so.
Want to do are those things that we love to do, that fill us with the joy or reward or have a benefit that is clearly defined and enjoyed by us. This is anything from going to the job we enjoy to our artistic ventures to planting a garden.
Part of my own problem is I have these categories mixed up in my life. My have to's are often my need to's in my mind: I have to paint the trim, I have to train, I have to organize. In reality most of these are need to's: the house needs to be maintained, I need to exercise to maintain my health and get better, I need organize what I have and get rid of what I do not.
And I do not believe I am the only one that has this issue.
For many years I unconsciously split these categories into three equal pieces of a pie. I am having an epiphany in realizing the fact that this is a mistake: in fact, there are really only two pieces of the pie, Need to do and Want to do.
Have to do? This is something we put on ourselves that we do from a dragging sense of obligation or responsibility with no joy or willingness to do it. And these things, if we examine them closely, are not things that we really want to be about. Is it something necessary? Then it should go into the Need to column. Is it not necessary? Then it should be considered to see if either it can be modified into a want or eliminated as a required task. Having thought about it, our lives should be really be divided (so much as is possible) into two categories: Need to do and Want to do.
Let our lives not be held in the chains of the Have to do. Let us seek to make them full of Need to do and Want to do.
Hmmm seems to me there is some movement or a gray area between need and Have though. For some who have gotten themselves into debt a job maybe a need as opposed to a have. Still I see your point across the board.
ReplyDeleteI think you are right Preppy. The categories can shift and slide a bit. An clarification (to use your example) is one (at least most of us) need an income, but some have to have a job (as opposed to doing what they want or subsisting off another form of income). I suppose it is a variation of Covey's four quadrants (Importance versus Urgency). I guess the thing struck me about it in the morning was that really, in an ideal world, we should either need to do things or love to do things. Anything in that third category should be examined to see if it needs to move to one of the other two or is simply superfluous.
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