On Someone Else

"If you've signed up to be approved by, selected by, promoted by or otherwise chosen by someone who's not going to respond to your efforts, it's not a smart choice." - Seth Godin

When i read this comment yesterday I was almost speechless from the profound nature of it.  It was in the middle of what rapidly seems to be becoming a typical day for me:  a steady flow of people all with questions or needs, the hint that the day's activities are not going nearly as cleanly to plan as has been expected, and the hovering over my head of the fact that I am coming to realize that the instability I am feeling at work is not going to result in any sort of advancement not matter how much effort I put into it.  

And then, this.

Ironically this is the thing that much of the American business model (maybe the global business model - who knows?) is built on: the idea that we put our efforts out in hopes that someone is going to recognize them and reward them.  Turns out we - or at least I - have a tendency to do this in my personal relationships as well:  make myself dependent on what others will think or do in order to make myself feel better or move the relationship forward.  I even have a tendency to do this in my activities, taking the action and hoping that someone will recognize it and reward it then.

But to Godin's point, it is not a smart choice.  Said more succinctly, it is a stupid choice?

Why?  Not because it makes you dependent on another person (I should think that is obvious) but even more so that it keeps you laboring under a delusion: the delusion that some else is going to make you successful.  Your success - in anything - becomes not an output of your own effort and ability and time but rather the output of someone noticing, approving, selecting, promoting and choosing you.  If they do not - well, that is unfortunate, but please continue to work as hard as you have been and perhaps beg a little more - and someone may notice you then.

The solution?  Approve, select, promote and choose yourself.  Easy to write, hard to do.  But if I am truly honest, is it any more difficult than feeling the way I some often do - run down, ignored, trapped in my inability to get anyone in a position to make an impact to notice me.

Perhaps better if I go make my impact - and my promotion or choosing - myself.