On Rocky and Dying

On this day my friend Rocky lies dying in a hospital.

The incongruity of this struck me last night as I reviewed the various websites last night and found that a young woman in Oregon, whose picture I had happened to see two weeks ago on a People magazine, had decided to end her life under Oregon's Suicide Law.

I want to be careful as I write this:  I have never had to face a death sentence as cancer.  I have never had to evaluate whether living longer is worth the pain.  I can discuss the decision on moral grounds only but that is not my aim today.  The point of this consideration is not a condemnation; rather it is an observation.

My friend Rocky found out that he had a relapse of cancer in 2012.  He chose to fight - and he chose to share his struggle.  For almost 2 years he has written about his ongoing struggle.  He has been remarkable honest in his struggles and reflections - sometimes painfully so.  Rocky is the real deal:  a man facing death in the face and telling all what he sees there.

What has come out of it is a series of writings which has helped a lot of people, including myself.  Reflections on living and dying.  Reflections on how it is important to spend your time wisely now on things that matter with people that you care about because (really) we do not know how much time we have.  The gift of seeing marriage as it was actually meant to function, when that "until death do we part" becomes a reality.  And for me, even a little advice on how be better at Highland Games.

Ultimately, what Rocky has done is to take his situation and make it a teaching experience.  The impact of his life will be far beyond what his uncooperative body had become.  It is ingrained on the hearts and in the characters of all that have read him and know him.   Rocky will continue to live - not as a internet picture with a catchy phrase to be lost on Instagram in a month but as a real example of how to live even in the process of dying.

There will be no internet extravaganza for Rocky this week.  But there will be the quiet morning of those whose lives he has touched - and the determination to take to what he has given us with his dying and carry it forward.