Weakness

A realization of weakness is never a very comforting thing.
I am weak - weak in ways that are numerous in number and defy description.  For all the ways that I like to believe that I am strong and can deal with or endure life, I am fractured with weakness - fractures that can occasionally threaten to tear apart my otherwise seemingly placid life.

The worst thing about such weaknesses is knowing that they are there, threatening to act when you least expect it (or need it), diverting your attention and sapping your energy.  There are days where I have to walk a very fine line between doing what needs to be done while not walking over the precipice into the yawning abyss.

Like what sort of weaknesses, you ask?

Always the rub, is it not?  People say that they suffer from weaknesses but scarcely willing to actually discuss them lest they reveal themselves in ways that are painful and embarrassing.  I do not know that I am any more willing than any other to reveal all of them - here is one, though:  food.

I like to eat.  I like to eat a lot.  Given the opportunity, I would routinely snack and overeat all day to the point that gluttony became more of a struggle than it already can be.  It is always there - especially when there are those comfort foods around that I love and something has caused the day to go awry: Frustrated?  Eat.  Depressed?  Eat.  Tired?  Eat.  Bored?  Eat.

I know it may not seem like much compared to what others go endure - and it may not be.  But now take that weakness and multiply it by 5 or 10 or more and this too often seems to be my life:  weaknesses, living in the fracture lines of my life, ready to rupture from any number of potential inputs or issues.

How does one solder together such weaknesses?  Is there such a thing as going an hour, a day, even a week without being constantly aware and fighting?  Or is this simply the human condition?