Today in my morning pages (the three pages in my journal I am trying to write every morning) one of the questions from The Artist's Way" I had to consider was "What are three rotten habits - obvious and subtle - that you have? What is the payoff from them?" Wow, I thought to myself - that is going to be fairly hard to come up with - not so much that I do not have them but rather that I will not be able to find a theme amongst the three of each.
I was wrong.
Three obvious rotten habits:
1) Spending time surfing the Internet reading instead of doing something productive.
2) Letting myself that this will take so long to do that I put off doing them.
3) Putting off tomorrow what I could do today.
Payoff: I do not actually have to take action on anything and by not taking action, I cannot fail.
Three subtle rotten habits:
1) Not speaking up when I should.
2) Not defending my position when I should.
3) Being flippant when I should be serious.
Payoff: People will never think ill of me or my opinions or criticize me.
In looking at these in a printed form, I see a trend. In both cases, I end up trying to not do or say anything, because I am worried about failing (by action or opinion). I find that interesting in that I knew that my fear of failure and criticism was high - but not that high.
What to do? The first three are relatively easy to consider: act. Time your Internet. Instead of thinking about what doing something, do it. And do it as soon as you realize it, not tomorrow.
The other three are more difficult because they involve self image, not action. How does I overcome the need to be liked - or rather, the incessant need in my case? How does I stand one's ground intellectually? And how does I accept that flippant is not always the way to be?
What are your rotten habits? And what payoff do you get?
Ya know I disagree with the old label "wanting everyone to like you" It's so abstract. In many cases it has nothing to do with wanting people to like you as much as popularity seems to make more people take you seriously. A problem that adds more problems to itself if you will.
ReplyDeleteIt is a good distinction Preppy. Maybe I do not express myself clearly enough. It is not as much people liking me as people criticizing me (or not making you seriously, as you point out) that makes me cringe. I really hate the feeling.
ReplyDelete