The Count of Monte Cristo

I re-read The Count of Monte Cristo  yesterday.  It was another one of those things: I started with a remembrance of a particular section, then I sat down to begin to read and before I knew if I was deeply engrossed all day in the novel all over again.  It took me all day to read - but is there really any better way to spend a cold winter's day than with a good book?

As I read it touched some deep places inside of me, places of self worth and value.  Reading of him I find that he is so much that I am not:  action oriented, knowledgeable, purposeful, clever, skillful, commanding, magnetic.  In other words, he bears qualities that I wish I had.

But then the thought bedevils me:  how do approach such qualities, especially as I am?  These things seem so far from my life as to be unapproachable - and even if I tried to integrate them I think I would only find that they create more dissonance in my life than good.

But could I create another life, another person?

This is the thought that tugged at me as I closed the book, then went back and read one or two select sections.  Create a new persona.  Be, essentially, someone else.

Yes, I am aware that the Internet makes it easier than ever to find out about anyone.  Yes, I am aware that my picture is undoubtedly out there.  Yes, I am aware there are certain things in which creating a "New You" is patently illegal.  I am not talking about that, of course.

What I am talking about is creating a persona, a person somewhat like myself but myself as I wish I could be, to live somewhere out here amongst the electric pluses of the Internet.  Someone who could give a platform to try some of the thoughts and behaviors I would like to try, maybe even give them a dry run or two before throwing them out to the wider public.

I have no idea what this gentleman would be called, although creating a back story might be fun.  I have no real idea what he wants to do yet or how he wants to make his mark on the world.  All I do know is that somewhere behind the real life is the life I want to be, the image I have in my mind - and it is not as I currently am, huddled over a computer screen trying to deal with the minutiae of a small company.  It is grander, more elaborate than that.

Who is this other man and how do I find him?