Humility

Grappling with humility again.

Humility is tough for virtually everyone I suppose.  I am no different in that aspect.  What is always dogging me is the twin thoughts of 1)  I need to be more humble; and 2)  The humble are always overrun by those who are not.

As I have reasoned before, much of my life - choice of careers, family, friends - is really (or is really supposed to be) an exercise in servanthood:  serving the needs of those I am around.  Sounds really noble, does it not?  The (at least to my selfish mind) pathetic reality is that being a servant can be depressing: you are always getting "given" actions by others to complete and one can continually be doing things for others - to the point that you will have no time to do anything for yourself.  And recognition is often scant, a difficult pill to swallow for someone who loves to be the center of attention.

Another issue - one that perhaps bugs me even more - is that those who are "above" you somehow especially see it as a their job to make sure that you serve them.  Tasks that theoretically need to be accomplished as a group or team suddenly become largely your responsibility to orchestrate and accomplish, even though we are a "team" or "group".  While theoretically this should correspond to the concept of serving, what it actually does is create the sense of servitude, not servanthood.

But I am called to be humble, to serve others.  How do I make this work with my inherent desire to be important and feel noticed rather than to serve and be satisfied with obscurity?  How do I live out the Gospel commands to have a servant's  heart?  

How does one become humble - and be satisfied with it?