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Friday, June 14, 2013

Choices and Change II

Choices or Change.  This thought simmered in my thoughts all day after I wrote it.

Am I lover of change?  If you looked at my history, you would say yes.  My average stay at a job since my first job is approximately 24 months.  Prior to (more or less) the last two jobs, I regular switched jobs.  And my interests?  They wander from here to there, as a butterfly landing and then flying off.  My bookshelves, were you to look at them, would seem a disorganized collection of subjects and topics - reflecting my interests and their morphing.  Yet ironically, I would not define myself as someone who likes or enjoys change.  In many other ways I prefer the known to the unknown, the scheduled to the free fall, the older to the newer. 

If I love change, why?  This is probably the real question worth asking.  Figure out why I love change so much and that will tell me why I do what I do, why I am unhappy with what I am unhappy with, and how to figure my way out.

Why understand it?  Because if not, I begin to start trying changes for the sake of changes. I start looking at jobs in locations I probably should not.  I suddenly start coming up with new lines of study when I barely have time for the lines of study that I am currently undertaking.  In other words if it is not channeled, it begins to become destructive.

Which is a little bit frightening.  Because if I am doing it just to do it, it is an instinctual thing which is very powerful indeed.  Power can be good of course when it is properly managed - when not, it becomes a very destructive element.

Why then do I love change?  Or perhaps the better question is, Why then do I feel I must have change?

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