Why Write?

I am in the process of re-evaluating my writing.

Oh no, not the fact that I write.  At this point I think that it is too firmly rooted in my pysche for me to ever walk backwards from doing it.  It has become a part of my life - literally a part of my mornings which I design around to insure that I get to do it - and I can honestly say that I miss the days when I do not.

No, what I am re-evaluating is why and where and for what I am writing.

Why?  Why do I write?  Originally it was to become a great voice in writing on the Internet.  Then it shifted to become a great voice writing for my industry, then for homesteading, then finally for success.  In each and every one of those cases, things have not turned out as I intended.  Instead, I have come to write mostly for myself and a small cadre of readers (most of whom I know) as a sort of mental and spiritual exercise.

Is that okay?  Is that enough of a reason to do this?  I think so - after all, if I alone benefit from the daily activity of writing it (much like journaling) becomes an activity of growth.  And the off chance happens that I someone reading something is helped as well.

Where?  Ah.  I've got at least three blogs spead across the Internet now, all doing different things.  Is this a spreading too thin of my energy?  Does one of them make a difference more than the other two?  Or in my desire to throw as many things against the wall as I can and hope something sticks have I overstepped my ability?

Because that falls into the what I am writing for.  I can make an argument that I started writing in different places in the (apparently) vain hope that I would find the magic combination that would finally establish a career in writing:  if I could not appeal to this audience I would appeal to another audience. 

But the audiences have never come in the overwhelming amounts that my mind saw.  The links from other sites never really appeared.  Alas, the commercial offers also never seemed to find their way to my inbox along with the book offers I was so sure would show up.

So why am I writing?

The (unfortunate) reality is that at this juncture I am probably never going to make my way into the ubercompetitive quickly moving environment of top blogs or websites.  My chances of magically being "discovered" are probably nil.  I am one man, writing mostly about small subjects important to me.

But that doesn't change the original benefits I identified above.  I grow through this process.  Occasionally I help someone else.  Perhaps that is enough.

The amount of blogs I write?  Perhaps that is something that I need to seriously look at - not so much from a branding perspective as an effort and quality perspective.  I am perceptive enough to realize that there are limits on my time, limits that in turn limit what I am going to be able to do well.

But stop writing altogether?  I do not see that as something that I want or need to consider.  It has become too much of my personality - because even with little exposure and in a quiet corner of the blogosphere, to write a blog means that one is a writer.   And to write, in some way, is to change the world.