Belief in Self?

What is the role of self belief and success?

Oh, not that usual relationship that is commonly acknowledged: that without self belief there is no success.  This has been demonstrated time and time again, both by the success of those who would otherwise not seem to be inclined to be from their circumstances as well as by those who, given all the hands up they can be given, never really seem to take of.

The thing I am wondering about is something more elusive than that, the role of one's own self belief in succeeding - and how one gets it.

Part of the lose of hope in lives -in mine, anyway - is the sense that I simply cannot succeed at something which I try.  Of course one has to have an accurate measure of success to start with - we are neither master authors nor master cheese makers from the start.  At the same time, I am often dogged by the sense that I am not - and cannot - succeed.

Do I base too much on the reactions of others?  Possibly.  Success - at least in our society - is measured in terms of "simple" things like recognition and money.  They are not truly indicative of success, I guess - but then again, getting paid for something you like and are good at far and away beats getting paid for something you don't really care for and manage to get through.

And too often this is the sticking point for me:  trying to find a sense of self-belief in the midst of a world where I am "supposed" to do something and like it, rather than like it and do something.

To suggest this to others - especially those close to you - is sometimes incredibly difficult.  If you has never had the experience of achieving a long cherished goal only to have it treated as uneventful  - or worse, unnoticeable - you cannot imagine the deflation of the soul.

Which is where self belief is supposed to come in, I guess - that backstop of life, that hedge against the world that when all others strike down our thoughts and goals, it will maintain us from going over the cliff.

But what if it turns out that every time you go to the backstop it is mysteriously not there, that the wave it is supposed to protect against simply washes over you and down the cliff?  Where, you wonder as you go over for the 1000th time, is my self belief? 

In your worst times, you begin to even question if you had it in the first place.

Without self belief, activities lose their luster.  Careers becomes endurance marathons. The thought of doing anything else - anything that requires internal generation of energy and confidence - becomes an exercise in trying to push a boulder up a very steep hill indeed.

If self belief will not come from within, where will it come from?