Control

How much are we willing to make ourselves bear?

I've contemplated both the general day to day level of unhappiness I often feel in my life events and circumstances. As I was thinking on the issue, I suddenly realized that a great deal of what I endure are things which I pile on myself.

The reality is that there are a great many things that I cannot control in my life, in some cases things which greatly impact my day. For some reason I got the idea that if it does impact me, I should be able to control it.

Where this leads is down a road where one becomes bitter and angry because events, circumstances, people, etc. are never able to be controlled. I can't control others or how they act, I can't control (to a large part) the circumstances and events that come to me. But I think I should be able to, so I spend my time bearing around a weight of unhappiness because things aren't working the way they should. I become angry, bitter, and eventually hopeless.

Perhaps there is a better way - focus on the things I can control.

I can't control circumstances and events, but I can control how I react to them. I can't control people, but I can control how I react to them. And every circumstance or event, there are things I can control. I need to focus on those, and leave the others behind.

In a way that sounds silly as I write it. After all, the things I can't control are usually the more impactful on my life; the things I can control are the small things that don't seem to matter. But if I shed worry and anger by not worrying about that which I can't control, that makes the small things not so small at all.

And who knows - maybe by addressing the small things, the bigger things will make themselves available for addressing as well.