Waiting to Boot Revisited

Well, it appears I was clairvoyant when I was writing about my laptop yesterday. This time, when I went to use it after booting up, the screen had disappeared altogether. Apparently the relic had decided that its time had come to pass on.

The feeling I'm fighting at the moment is that of being thankful. I'm supposed to be thankful - "Give thanks in all things" (1st Thessalonians 5:16). And I should - it's the screen not the hard drive (as far as I can tell right now), so all my data should still be there waiting to be transferred. And I did get approximately 6 years out if it, which is longer than I probably could (or should) have expected.

I should be thankful. Ironically, not really feeling it now.

The overwhelming feeling I have at the moment is that of frustration. Not just at the sudden failure of the screen and the inconvenience - that's really all it is - of potentially recovering and relocating my files, but really at the timing of it in my life.

"It's not fair" I scream internally. "It's not as if we have the money at the moment to replace the darn thing. Yes, I know we can make do with a single unit but still - come on, isn't there a lick of fairness in the world?"

Ironically, I also consider it somewhat less than coincidence that with a short period (2 months), the last two items that were of The Firm - the laptop and the desk chair I sat in - have both suffered breakdowns. Literally, with the exception of the lingering financial ramifications, there is no evidence that any of that ever took place.

I don't know. Maybe it is a clearing of the slate, a sort of final cleansing of so much of my life and (in a lot of senses) the poor decisions I have often made. Or perhaps just a test of what I should be practicing on a daily basis: thankfulness.

Either way, it appears that boot up cycle I was thinking about is still going on as we speak.