Commitment

"Jibun no miseta koto wa saigo made jikko suru koto" (Always keep your commitments) - Samurai no Kokoro-e (Precepts of the Samurai)

We are not a people of commitment.

Perhaps I really indict myself: I am not a person of commitment.

I have to come to understand, more intensely than ever, that commitment is the one key to success in anything: business, marriage, child raising, financial or business success, weight loss. Everything else - plans, routines, programs, intentions, support materials - is useless without this one component.

If so necessary, why is it so seldom practiced by myself (if not the society around me)? Two reasons occur to me:

1) Commitment is difficult.

When one commits, the understanding is that one will do what one has said one will do. It is not difficult for easy things ("I'll call next week") or even when we commit to other people (although I break those often enough as well). The most difficult commitments are the one I make to myself.

More difficult than commitments to others? Of course. I have trained myself over the years to accept the fact that I can break commitments to myself and there are no repercussions. It's true that there are no repercussions for other people; however, I fear it has left me with the acknowledgement that commitment (to me) is not something I value.

Which is ridiculous - and short sighted. Of all people, the commitments to myself are the first ones I ought to be keeping. If keeping a commitment is a measure of respect for my promise, what do I say about how I respect myself?

2) Commitment limits us.

To the extent that we commit to something, we voluntarily set something aside - from as simple as time ("I'll call you" means I will not be doing something else with that time) to something as long ranging as business success ("I commit to completing this project" means that there are other projects I will now not do).

As much as commitment is about finishing and following through, it is about making choices with the limited amount of time and energy each individual has. We are finite creatures: we can only truly commit to a number of things. Far better (for myself at least) to maintain the illusion that by not committing, I maintain my ability as a free agent to choose the best option.

The problem with this is that time is against all of us. By not choosing, by not committing, we do maintain our free agency - however, we also lose precious time to begin the journey on those commitments. Time is not endless - in many instances, the decision not to commit now means we may never have another chance to commit to that thing.

So if commitment is the prerequisite to success, and at some level success in anything makes it worthwhile and improves our lives, what am I really willing to commit to?

What about you?