Spent

God,
I have nothing this morning.
Nothing.
I'm feeling tired beyond tired,
The tired that when the clock flashes "Time to Rise"
I just lie there in bed.
The tired that when I come down stairs
I don't exercise or read or study
but crawl on the couch with the pillow over my head
hoping the day will go away.

I am spent:
Spent with work, of being two people instead of one;
spent at home, passing through like a ghost;
spent inside, a hollow core of goals and objectives.

I fool myself I think,
believing that if I schedule every minute and moment
I can be and do all things;
All I find is that the more I plan, the less I accomplish;
the more I do, the less I can do.

Help me (for I cannot apparently help myself),
such that if I cannot do all that I can or should do,
at least I can find the energy and mental spirit
to do what I able with a sense of purpose,
not with the quiet, failed sense of exhaustion.