To Stand

I realized last week that I stand differently.

In Iaido, there is a form in which one stands, whether at rest or in motion. The form is itself what you would probably expect from any martial art: erect, shoulders up and out, chest forward, body erect, relaxed yet alert. Steps (when taken) are measured. Always, in everything, one is alert.

As I stood there last week, having completed my kata and waiting for others to complete theirs, I realized how different I looked from the way I normally stand. It's not just the physical manifestations - shoulders not as high and open, head and body not quite as erect, chest not out - although those are noticeable: it's the mental manifestation that goes along with it.

To stand in form, to move in form, is for me to move in a confident and assured manner. It is to confront the world in way that perhaps does not militate success, but does not expect things to go badly all the time. It is to be ready for what occurs: ready to respond, not just ready to accept. It is it, if this can be understood, to stand as a man in the world, a man of action, ready to move. It reminds me of how Ayn Rand describes her heroes in Atlas Shrugged: loose limbed, erect, confident, ready to face the world on their own terms rather than accept it on the world's terms.

I would love to stand this way all the time - the energy, the confidence, the lack of fear, the sense of being competent to face whatever comes and the confidence that I can do so.

Why, then do I not?