Inner and Outer Change

What am I working towards?

It occurred to me yesterday afternoon as we sat through Week Five of Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University as he discussed his financial story (in brief, millionaire by 26, lost it all [and I mean ALL], rebuilt it all) - not the money part, but the part about what he had to become through the entire process.

If I want more, am I working like I want more - more responsibility, more time, more money? Or am I mired in the belief that I can be exactly like I am and somehow this things will accrue to me? Do people look at me as I work from day to day and say "This is a man who is intent on succeeding" or do they say "This is a man who is intent on staying where he is"?

A long time ago, a very wise man (my manager at the time) told me "I'm not telling you not to be yourself - look at me (and he was his own independent person) - but I might suggest that management might have a hard time promoting someone who jumps up and down and waves at people in the manufacturing suite through the window." I took what I understood to be his advice at the time by attempting to bolt on a series of "adult" behaviors, but only now (12 years later) do I see it in all of it's fruition.

It's not about changing your essence, your inner person - although that can happen, I suppose. It's not about performing a series of rituals - dress better, be serious, never laugh - as an outer coating of responsibility. It's about becoming a person of more value in whatever field of work you are in by becoming more skilled, more competent, more responsible.

If you're low on the totem pole and poor, people think you are crazy and not responsible. If you're high on the totem pole with a history of success, people think you are eccentric - good at what you do, but eccentric.

I want to be eccentric.