Two Places

Getting ready to trek back from The Ranch this afternoon towards New Home.

I wandered down into the Lower Meadow this morning, the uncut grasses up to my knees as the leftover green grass near the spring which supports the midsummer wildflowers bowed in the wind. The dragonflies were hovering and darting around my head level as lower, bees and butterflies were moving from flower to flower on their own business. Birds were dipping and landing near the horses' path, apparent flying in to get at the insects in the lower levels of grass exposed by the horses' travels.

As I stopped and watched the wonder of it all, I suddenly realized how hard it is to have one's heart in two places at the same time.

I don't know how to reconcile these two halves of my life, the part that I live with most of the year and the part of my life I want to live with most of the year.

All I know is that every time I leave, it feels more and more a balancing act I cannot hold together.