Self Will versus Self Control

As an exercise (and something that I should be doing anyway), I have been working to memorize Titus 1. As I was working through the qualifications of a bishop (vv. 6-9), I was struck by a contrast.

In verse 7, Paul is listing the the negative qualities of an elder, things that he should not be: not self willed, not quick tempered, not given to wine, not violent, not greedy for money. In verse 8, he lists the positive qualities: hospitable, a lover of good, sober minded, just, holy, self controlled.

As I have continued to roll these verses over in my mind, a contrast began to develop: self willed verses self controlled.

Both of these qualities deal directly with self, not a quality of self as the others are. Both of them deal directly with actions taken by the self. Both of them involve the management of self. Yet one is listed as as undesirable (self will) and one as a virtue (self control).

What is the difference?

Self willed is, pretty simply, running my own life. Whatever my wants or desires are, that's what I do. My thoughts, plans and actions are based around what is good for me - in some cases what is good for me at the moment.

Self control is, interestingly enough, also similar to self willed. It involves thoughts, plans and actions -but they are held accountable to something higher than my need for the moment. Whether it is something simple, like denying myself a dessert to manage my weight or something more involved like avoiding something entirely which is legitimate for others because I tend to sin with it, it involves the placement of all parts of me at the service of a higher purpose - instead of merely serving myself.

Interestingly, the world has adopted both as positives. Self will has become redefined as being true to myself, living my dreams, making goals and achieving them. Self control exists as well, but has been stripped of its higher purpose - to be self controlled for God - and has been reduced to self control for the purpose of serving my self will.

So as I go about my business this morning, am I being self willed - concerned only about my own existence and goals? Or self controlled in pursuit of a higher calling?