Wednesday Blues

By the time I hit the midpoint of the week - usually Wednesday, sometimes as late as Thursday and as early as Tuesday - I'm done. All of my planning, all of my sincere hopes and best intentions are gone. I struggle to get out of bed, my peace of mind destroyed in a welter of general grumpiness and lack of energy.

Why is this? I ask both because of the fact that I get tired of living this cycle week after week and because it insures that I will never get closer to advancing on anything.

So what is it? Sleep? Could be a factor - I usually come off of the weekends as well rested as I am all week. Accomplishments? Depends. Some weeks I am well on my way to checking off my To Do list, other times not so much.

But neither of these encompasses the feeling of blahs, even downright thunderclouds, that haze the edges of my mind even as I write this morning.

If I had to categorize it, I'd say a sense of hopelessness.

By the middle of the week, I've realized (or at least think I've realized) that there's no sense of moving forward in my life, that in some cases the list of things I've set for myself are not at all accomplishable, in other cases that doing those things is not really moving me towards my goals. I'm then overwhelmed by this sense of "What does it matter?", followed by a hopeless sense of duty.

I can't keep doing this. I can't keep living from week to week on this roller coaster of "Achieve and Go Forward" followed by "Stay stuck in the valley for another week."

It's not enough just to set goals - they have to include goals that actually advance you towards somewhere.