Frustration and Self Non-Belief

A sense of frustration and pointless activity fills my brain. The frustration stems from my notification that I would not be consideration for the job I interviewed for two weeks ago (a general frustration for the loss of the opportunity, not a specific frustration for the loss of the job - I truly think it would have created far more stress in my life). The pointless activity sense comes from the idea that I'm not doing something, or I'm not doing something enough, or there is some aspect that I am missing, that I should be doing.

An interesting thing happened last night as well. As I tried to deal with my frustration and pointless activity, a thought bounced through my head: How about your own business? Not even taking the time to think, I immediately myself over into some resources I had for reading, even starting to make a list of interests, etc. - right up to the point that my inner thought police (apparently) showed up and said "There's no way you can do this. Get real. Apply for more jobs. " And that was that.

The thing that surprised me is that the shut down occurred so quickly - almost as quickly as the trial balloon went up, it came crashing back down to earth.

I'm not arguing for or against my own business. What I am curious about is the almost immediate sense of "I can't do that" or "It just won't work" - as if what I am currently doing is somehow working so much more effectively.

Which wends its way back to belief in self.

I admire Otis in this. He has a towering (in the good sense) sense of belief in himself - certainly which is required given his line of business (sales), but in other things I know about him and his life. What he decides to do, he does. In that sense (so far as I can tell) he is very goal and results oriented. For example, when he decided to run he went out, got educated, got shoes, and started running. He's up to 4 miles every other day now.

Not so much me - partially I suspect because I am not in sales, so I have not had this goal/results combination (in my line of work, you work. Anything you accomplish is always seemingly subsumed into the giant collective and you get the 0.5% bonus once a year plus an occasional "Good Job" back pat.), but also partially because of a significant character impediment within myself - simply put, I've either not directly trained in the goal/result line of thinking or a sense that no matter what I try, it simply will either not work or will not make a difference.

How do I overcome this seeming character deficit? To succeed (in anything), you need to believe that you can. How does one generate the belief that one can? How does one sustain it?