Finding and Saving

God will speak through His word if we are willing to let Him.

As part of my daily devotionals this year (I think I've mentioned this before), I am taking small blocks of the Gospels and reading them continuously for a month. This month is Matthew 9-12.

As I was reading through Matthew 10:37-39 this morning

"He who loved father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. He who loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of Me. And he who does not take up his cross is not worthy of Me. He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it"

I scanned down to look at the commentary (MacArthur Study Bible, NKJV) to look at the cross referenced verses. As I went to the cross references, I noticed a difference. I will use Matthew 16:25 here - "For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it." - but the same wording is used in Mark 8:34 and Luke 9:24. Note the difference: "finds" versus "saves" or "desires to saves".

Hmm. Maybe a translation issue here. I pulled out my Nestle-Aland 4th Revised edition of the Greek New Testament. Nope. There are really two different words used here: heuron versus sosai or thelei sosai (willingness or desire to save).

Heurisko (heuron), means "to find for oneself, gain, procure, obtain." Sozo (sosai) means (not surprisingly) "to save", in the sense of salvation. Thelema (thelei) means "A will, that which is willed" (All definitions taken from Vines Complete Expositionary Dictionary of Old and New Testament Words).

Now as I've lectured in my work life constantly, words mean things. I carefully choose the words that I send out on an e-mail or use in a document because I want the reader to read them in the spirit and understanding I sent them. So there is a difference here - what is it?

The saving part seems pretty straightforward - Christ is simply saying that anyone that seeks to save his life (and by life here, we mean eternal soul) by an other means than the free gift of salvation, will in the end lose it. Works can't save. Only faith in the atonement of Christ can -but that means denying any ability you have to save yourself, a recognition of my sinfulness and the need for humility (i.e. I can't do it myself and what God says about me is really true).

But the finding - how can I "find" my life and not save it?

I think - and to be fair, this is my opinion and my application - Christ is speaking to those who seek to find their gain or procure their life in anything but Him. This would also be works, certainly, but could be anything to which we would give our lives which is not of God - the good cause or noble work which is more important than doing God's work God's way.

But (and this is perhaps a big but) in our current age, I think this speaks poignantly to us. We hear a great deal about "finding ourselves", "finding our way", "finding the perfect job/mate/lifestyle/coffee flavored drink" for us - as if finding temporal satisfaction will somehow improve our standing with God. "God wouldn't want me to be in a job I don't like" or "God wouldn't want me not to find the way to express myself" we say, and then off we go trying to argue that self actualization plus a form of the Gospel will cut it.

Not so, says Christ.

Remember the previous verses: "He who loves father or mother or son or daughter or will not take up his cross (additionally in the other referenced verses, will not denying himself) - is not
worthy of me." Anything plus Christ for salvation = no salvation.

I write this mostly to myself - I fully know that I can't save myself, but have I grasped the truth that finding myself is equally as non-worthy in Christ's eyes? In a sense, what a relief - I can shed this load of worrying that I'm not doing everything I should with what I think I've been given. If God wants me to use it, He'll provide the outlet. My job is to remain faithful and concerned with ensuring I remain in that state of self death and self denial. On the other hand, what horror the church has created - so often we give the illusion that temporally satisfactions and lifestyles are the equivalent of salvation from Hell.

Will I spend my time more concerned about finding my own life or about losing my life for the sake of Christ and His gospel?