Crushed

So I heard from the recruiter today. I am out of the running for the interview I did last week.

She was very kind - apologized for leaving a message but knew I wanted to know, that they were inundated with candidates, and had found a couple they felt were more suited to the company culture and their needs.

Surprisingly enough, I was very disappointed by this - I believe one could use the word depressed.

Looking at it clinically, I am somewhat as to why this is the case. Certainly this was no guarantee - in fact, nothing more than a hope, because I knew going in there were plenty of resumes they would be looking at. I also knew that the first interviewee (which was me) is either in a very privileged or unprivileged position by being the benchmark.

Still, deep disappointment.

I think the disappointment comes from the process: this was my first true interview in seven weeks of looking. It took almost precisely a month to get the process to this point - now, it has to be started all over again somewhere else. And the same factors are all in place: many resumes, many skilled people, too few jobs.

Intellectually I know all this; emotionally, it still stings.