Tired

God,
I intellectually know that You are there, and that You are here,
Sustaining me through even this.
And that I should give rejoice always, give thanks in all circumstances,
and pray constantly.
And I even did that, this morning,
feeling strong in the strength of the Lord.

But now, at the end of the day, I feel nothing but a tired sense of defeat and bleakness.
I got some of what I needed done, but made no progress.
I proacted and made contact, and found nothing at the other end.
My children bickered, my dog took off down the street,
and almost surprisingly, there was no job I looked at that I was qualified for.
I feel alone, tired, useless; kicked to the side of the road along with the
McDonald's wrappers and cigarette butts and road dirt.
If there is a center of Your will Lord, I feel diametrically situated from it.

Help me even in this Lord to remember simply that You are Lord:
I don't have understand, I don't have to have it worked out,
I don't have to pretend to feel what's not there.
Remind me that You will carry me,
even when I cannot carry
myself.