Something's Coming

I got a very kind and thoughtful e-mail from Le Quebecois this morning. I always enjoy his e-mails, because they are chock full of wisdom and good humor and the sort of bon homme that I wish could flavor my own conversation as well as my days more.

It's odd, because I actually have few men older than I that would consider founts of wisdom or mentors. Our church is fairly new (6 years), so we tend to be towards the younger end (I, of course, being on that younger end!); my father of course, but in so many ways we have had different lives (He commented to me last week that a layoff was something that he nor my mother ever had to even consider dealing with); my boss at my previous company, He Who Must Be Obeyed (HWMBO) in an industry and career sense. I've worked with lots of men who experience-wise might qualify, but they never had that thing that made you say "Yup - I want to be like them. I respect their opinions and wisdom."

As part of the response to his e-mail, the line suddenly came from my fingers:

"Now that I don’t have the flow of work constantly on the brain, with my gripes and crises there, I’m finding that there is a quiet underflow of something – although I’m not sure what it is. Writing for certain, but other things as well, things that I may have abandoned in my quest for biopharmaceutical goals. It’s different from when I lost the real estate company, more introspective, more a sense of this being a spork in the road, and having a chance to choose something."

One of those things you look at your fingers and say "Where did that come from?"

But upon reflection, it's true. It's not like last time with real estate: Yes, I had the same series of 24 hours periods; yes, I had essentially the same financial situation; yes, I was looking for work on a time basis; but with all of that, there is a sense of deeper things sort of bubbling up in a quiet way that have been there all along, but have been pushed aside by the things we think important, but in reality are ephemeral.

I made the comment to a friend on Wednesday that I was shocked to realize that I made (in the sense of "Made before I got laid off") almost as much as I could get as an assistant attorney. Lesson: I can work more and probably earn more, but wealth alone isn't going to get me where I want to go.

(Somewhere in the interstatial space that is the internet, both Songbird and Buttercup are nodding their heads and saying, "Yup, he finally got it - we've been saying this for how long?"

It's almost exciting - strike that, it is exciting. It's like this massive adventure of discovery, the book kind I like the best: John Carter charging across the dead sea bottoms of Mars under the two hurtling moons Phobos and Deimos, or Conan discovering the mysteries of civilizations long gone (in his case of course, with loot), or any of Andre Norton's journeys of people in the ruins of a civilization long gone.

It's like from West Side story, the song Tony sings, "Something's Coming". I found the lyrics, and they're so close to what I'm thinking, I'll close with those:

Could be! Who knows?
There's something due any day;
I will know right away,
Soon as it shows.
It may come cannonballing down through the sky,
Gleam in its eye,
Bright as a rose!

Who knows?
It's only just out of reach,
Down the block, on a beach,
Under a tree.
I got a feeling there's a miracle due,
Gonna come true,
Coming to me!

Could it be?
Yes, it could.
Something's coming, something good,
If I can wait!
Something's coming, I don't know what it is,
But it is
Gonna be great!

With a click, with a shock,
Phone'll jingle, door'll knock,
Open the latch!
Something's coming, don't know when, but it's soon;
Catch the moon,
One-handed catch!

Around the corner,
Or whistling down the river,
Come on, deliver To me!
Will it be? Yes, it will.
Maybe just by holding still,
It'll be there!

Come on, something, come on in, don't be shy,
Meet a guy,
Pull up a chair!
The air is humming,
And something great is coming!
Who knows?
It's only just out of reach,
Down the block, on a beach,
Maybe tonight ...