EOY

"For last year's words belong to last year's language and next year's words await another voice. And to make an end is to make a beginning." - T.S. Eliot

And so here we are. The last phrase strikes me the most - "To make an end is to make a beginning." What better time to reflect on endings and beginnings than today and tomorrow.

But what calls out to me is "To make an end". Oddly enough, this becomes harder and harder for me as the years pile on. Why? Not sure. It's certainly not a fear of the unknown, or having to learn new things. It's more of a personal comfort level thing.

We carry things - ideas, habits, hobbies, manners of speaking - around with us until they seemingly become ingrained in us, part of us. Twofold thing: 1) We can only ever carry, be, and do a finite amount of things; and 2) Much like a full cup, we can only add to it once we subtract from it.

But what a struggle to empty the cup, to "make a beginning"! I find that I hold on to things that hold no more benefit for me, nor are an essential part of me, simply because I hate to let things go. Cynically, one could say that it is because I might have to use that habit, skill, thing again. More realistically, I do it because I confuse what is necessary with what I think is necessary.

I am reminded of when Am Polleanach went through her mother's things after she had passed away. I remember in particular things that her mother had saved, or that she herself had saved, which got ruined by the weather. Although they believed they were there and ready to be used or pulled out and memorialized, when in fact they were useless and never realized it. How much in my own life that I cling to is in fact now useless, weathered, and I still believe it secure and dry?

So this year, in adding to my goals of things I will do, I will add at least one thing I will no longer do this next year - that "making an end". Let us see how it goes.