I find myself feeling discontented and trapped tonight - trapped in my life.
Ye saints and martyrs, I'm smarter than this. I feel trapped by work, trapped by finances, trapped by what I'm doing. This vague sense of "This is not really working - but I've no idea how to change it."
I am growing tired of living in this ever present miasma of fear about the economy and the future. I am not at all happy about the economy, do not misinterpret, nor do I think that my job is immune from it. At the same time, fear is doing nothing. Why am I not smarter about doing something, anything to get out of this rut?
Perhaps the one thing that needs to happen is I (again) need to find a locus, that one thing where I can start making sense of it all. What is the one place I can start at?
I need to something to catapult me out of this bog. Slogging through in ordinary ways is, I think, not going to be effective.
I am smarter than this.
I have stuggled over the years with myself with the whole fear/control issue. For me it is trying to get to a place where myself ends so I can let God take over my life which is already His in the first place. Much easier said that done..All I can say is hang in their friend and as my Dad use to say, "this too will pass".
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