Running Bees

Having bees for a hobby is kind of like moonshining.

You pay for your bees, then you go to the site - invariably out away from "city folk" (lest the insects that support their fruit smoothies interfere with their lives - where, in a semi-clandestine exchange, you pick up (and pay for or prepay) x boxes - three in my cases. They go in the the trunk of your car, then off you go - in my case, with my three daughters, to act as cover in case of a traffic pullover.

Then, you drive to the location of your hives - again, away from the "city folk" -, going through the small rural towns of the valley. You look in your back mirror, and suddenly one of the bees which was attracted to the queen's pheromones and was on the outside of the box has now floated up to the back window. No worries - one bee.

Then, when you look back a little later (trying not to swerve and attract attention), you see it's two. Then three. Soon, ten - all against the back window, but now at least one is flying around the back of the car.

So, you pull over, away from the freeway, hoping again you don't attract attention. Out go the bees after a little shooing. You eventually have to do this another one to two times.

Finally, you arrive at your locale of hive placement - after 250 miles of driving (for me, The Ranch). Using a home prepared substance out of legal materials (syrup), you doctor it up for your purposes (with essential oils and antibiotics to feed the bees.

The hives, which were on hold since last year, are back out of storage. Into each hive, you take the queen cage stuffed with marshmallow (no queen candy in them) and place it in the center of the deep. Then, against all common sense, you slam the bees to the bottom of their box - two times at least - then start pouring clumps of bees into the hive (you would not think bees would clump, but they do). In fact, leaving all leave of your senses, you play Bee pinball, trying to roll smaller clumps through the hole in the box and into the hive. All of this, you do three times.

Then, you place a feeder above each hive, as progressively more bees whir around your head, and pour into it a portion of your "syrup", after having placed a "pollen patty" (a patty purportedly made of pollen and other "ingredients") onto the top of the hive. On top of this, you place the lid. Again, you do all of this three times.

I love having bees.

And if you think this sounds like moonshining, wait until we talk about taking honey...