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The older I get, the more time I spend trying to stay out of loops.
There was a time that I wanted to be in the loop. I fought for it. I hung onto the edges of conversations, sought out meetings, researched and read. All to find some reason to be in the loop.
But loops are not what one thinks that they are, at least most of the time.
Once in the loop, one becomes committed to the loop. One becomes responsible for parts of the loop. Not paying attention to the loop becomes not just a dry exercise of not doing something, but a sincere questioning of one's commitment level to much of anything - and the loop, of course.
And - honestly - the loop is usually not nearly as interesting as one thought; over the years the illusions of the "grand things" that occur in loops is replaced by the knowledge that most loops are, in fact, loops. They lead nowhere.
So please - oh please - do not loop me in. I have a great many other actual important things to attend to.
In situations like this, I think of a particular line from the song "Hotel California" by the Eagles. It goes, "You can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave."
ReplyDeleteI'm with you on this post. When I was younger, I fought to be included. Now I actively try to avoid being included.
Ed - Only as an adult did I truly appreciate that line.
DeleteThe lengths I will go to in order to not be included probably seem amusing (or frustrating) to some. I have come to find I value my inner peace more than any sort of esoteric knowledge I might gain.
Gets a bit easier once you pull the pin on retirement TB. That forced social interaction for forty hours a week.......gone! What loop? No loop! Winnow down those thing you NEED to do and look to do those things you WANT to do......at least within the law.........:)
ReplyDeleteNylon12 - I can definitely see that; right now if was not working my "loops" would quickly go to about zero (although I have to admit - as The Ravishing Mrs. TB has pointed out - that being in a mixed age group is good for my socialization).
DeleteOutside of work, I have pretty successfully worked down to the bare minimum of what I need to be involved in and identified what I want to be involved in.
This is so true! And now you have me thinking - do I really need to be in so many group chats?
ReplyDeleteBecca - At least at work, even 2 years ago group chats were not a thing. Now they frighteningly dominate my work life (not so much - thankfully - my personal life). The only truly "important" group chats are those with my family and select friends.
DeleteThat said, I do need to get better about deleting them. I keep holding on because there is a 0.02% chance I might need information in there later.
The less loops I am associated with, the more the important loops find me. Those I will stay in.
ReplyDeleteG in NM
G - That is a really good point, if for no other reason than (perhaps) you can more clearly see what the important loops really are.
DeleteIt takes a lot of energy to remain in a loop. I think we get so caught up in it that we don't take time to consider if it's worth it. One of the benefits of getting older is being able to step back and evaluate more realistically.
ReplyDeleteLeigh - So much energy! Plus so much time following up to make sure you are constantly up to date in the loop.
DeleteGetting older has helped a lot, especially for what matters and what does not. Would that I had learned this lesson years ago - all the loops I could have been out of.