Tuesday, November 01, 2016

Blank Walls

So in trying to not have to explain, I am finding that suddenly large blank walls are thrown up in my mind.

It is as if there are places my mind has now decided it cannot go, thoughts it cannot think, feelings it cannot enable.  It is odd, a sort of silent quietness of the soul. 

I do not feel any different. I feel no "better" about myself than last week at this time, not different in terms of the Beatitudes or anything else I should be actually doing and displaying in my life.  

There is a certain emptiness that I cannot translate into words, a sort of formless energy that is just sitting there - not particularly anxious or wanting to get out, just sort of there.  

And, for what it is worth, I do not feel like I am "pleasing" God any more than I was before.  Perhaps it is just the simple feeling that I am not messing up quite as badly as I might otherwise have.

4 comments:

LindaG said...

PeteForester1 said...

God says "Be still, and know that I am God." (Ps 46:10). Truly, God is pleased when you do this, especially when you are waiting on His will for you. Don't be discouraged; silence let's you hear His whisper... (1 Kings 19:12)

Toirdhealbheach Beucail said...

Ah Pete - Excellent verses indeed sir. My problem is patience - and being still. I am afraid I am bit of a whirlwind...

Toirdhealbheach Beucail said...

Thanks Linda. Some days are better than others.