So today is "New Employee In The Office" Day.
This is always slightly awkward. I suppose it really is like being a new kid from out of district coming in, something I never experienced except when I started high school. The stares, the uncertain conversations, the "what is this guy going to be like" thoughts that run inevitably through everyone's heads (they sure run through mine when the situation is reversed).
I have the same questions about myself.
Oh, not that I can do the job. I am confident that I am able. There is always that upward slope when one arrives, the learning of not only the what we do here but the people that make it all happen (hopefully not too much to learn there - it is a small company), the assessing of what is and what needs to happen.
My concerns are actually more about myself.
This is one of those rare opportunities that only comes every so often, the change to reinvent one's self. The reality is that no-one knows me - good or bad. Other than my CV, I am a tabula rosa, ready to pen my own figures and illustrations.
There are things that I desire to keep, of course, things that have proven their worth time and time again. But there are other things - baggage I have been carrying around, positions I was put in, wrong decisions that I made, lines that I let be crossed and them having been crossed, could never recover them. All of these now have the opportunity to be remade.
There is nothing but upside potential to look forward to. I need be courageous enough - and steady enough - to take it.