There is just no motivation. No drive. I find myself retreating inward from doing anything, really wanting to do nothing more than escape into reading and watching The Twilight Zone.
This bothers me. This is not like me.
Part of it, I suspect, is simply due to the ending of one job and the beginning of another. It is all the hubbub of moving and relocating one's existence without actually doing it (in this case). Perhaps too, there is an element of finally releasing the remaining sense of duty I have been trying to maintain for at least a year, forcing myself (at some level) to care about someplace which, on the whole, was a very difficult place to be (I have been warned by others that have left that there is a detoxification process that will take place, sometimes taking weeks).
But no enthusiasm, no interest in doing anything, is not really like me. So what is up?
Which leads to the fundamental question: Why?
Why do I do the things that I do? No, really, why? Do I do them because I have to? Do I do them because I think that they are going to do something for me and when they do not, I move on? Do I do them because someone else wants me to do them?
I am going to try an exercise that I found online over the course of the next few weeks or so - makes perfect sense really, as the next month or so is going to be a true period of transition (without the moving - have I mentioned how grateful I am for that?).
For each activity, answer the following questions:
1) Write down things you really love to do.
2) Why do you love it?
3) Why is it important to have in your life?
4) What is its important to me and why does this fit into my life?
With the caveat, of course, that I take action on the decisions I find. If it fits, it stays. If it does not, away it goes.
I do not know that this will totally resolve the issue. But perhaps it can at least help me to rediscover the fire of why I do things - and focus on those.