Thursday, August 27, 2015

A Rubicon of Sorts

I believe I am finally done with where I am.

The thought occurred to me this afternoon when, trickling out of a meeting, I walked back to my cube to find the work that I left there waiting for me.  And it is not the sort of work that is either engaging or innovative - the sort of document revisions that you have to do to remain compliant, not the sort of things you need to do because it changes the world.

And then, looking at my flickering screen, staring out the windows, listening to the sounds of my disgruntled coworkers, I realized I was done.

The fix is in.  I have nowhere to go here.  Yes, words will be given and vague promises made to placate any need I feel to move on (after all, I do fill a useful niche) but the chance of actual change is minimal.

In other words, I spend 10 hours a day (8 hours +2 commute)  not really going anywhere at all.  In life math, 30% of any given week is spent merely treading water.

6 years.  Treading water.

Not really sure what this means, of course.  There are plenty of good personal reasons to stay in the area, reasons that have indirectly lead me to where I am today.  There are some places I might go, but here is as good as any.

But the time is now.  I am done treading water.  I am done settling for what should be more.

2 comments:

John Wooldridge said...

I know exactly what you are going through for I also reached the end of my tether TB, perhaps the change whatever it may be will do us both the world of good?

Toirdhealbheach Beucail said...

I sure hope so John. Things as they currently exist are simply not sustainable. That, and I am tired of living the life that is convenient and desirable for everyone but me.