Running late yesterday morning to Sunday School, I elected to drop off Nighen Gheal and step into a classroom to avoid disturbing my usual class. I picked up on my theme of courage, prayed, and opened my Bible.
As I sat there, reading in Exodus and Acts, I suddenly realized how quiet it was - beyond the hum of the air conditioning, nothing. I next realized how focused I was on God's Word, how my inner dialogue had quieted down and I was focused on what I was reading.
How is this? I have time at night and in the morning to read the Bible, with a quiet house when I do - yet I do not reach this quiet attitude of trust and focus.
I realized it is because when I am home reading God's word and praying are just another two items on my "To Do" list. I know I need to do it - but I also know that there are many other things that I "need" to do, so I push through as quickly as possible to get on to the next thing.
And I wonder why I feel so destitute of God so much of the time. He's become another "To Do" item to complete, rather than a relationship to build and enjoy.
Which says something about my priorities - and how they need to change.