Tuesday, January 12, 2010

"I Can" versus "I Am"

I've identified a flaw in my thinking: "I can" versus "I am".

Upon reflection this week, peppered by Jeffrey Gitomer, I became aware that it seems I have always confused my ability to be capable with my inherent nature. To think myself capable was to extend it to all aspects of my reality, including my nature as a sinner - which then made me react against it, knowing the fact that I am a sinner and therefore not worthy of salvation on my own merit. I have often ended up in this bizarre feedback loop, tacking back and forth from "I can" to "I can't" like a small sailboat on Sunday afternoon in the San Francisco Bay.

But in thinking about it yesterday, I had a glimmer that the truth lies with both: yes, I am a sinner in need of a Savior, but as a person God have made me capable - that my status as a sinner does not prevent me from accomplishing things - indeed, being competent and able to do (at least on earth) far more than I consider myself capable of.

This is a novel thought for me, something I have not considered in a long time: that I am capable of things, that thinking "I can" and believing that I can is not in itself a sinful thought.

Suddenly, the vistas of this life are greatly expanded and the thoughts of what I can do are no longer immediately shut down to essentially the interior ends of my mind.

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